Sleep cycle is a mess again. Arguably it’s summer and I shouldn’t worry about it. I woke up at 9:30am yesterday and spent the whole day yesterday to myself playing FFXI while Little Bear slept, my oldest worked on pre-algebra, and my middle son played Minecraft. It was a quiet day. Humid as hell though. I did put the fan into the window this afternoon when I woke up today. And that’s the bad part about the sleep schedule being messed up. Little Bear was up all night, right up until around 6am this morning. I tried to stay awake until 7am for our morning meds, but didn’t quite make it. It’s messing everything up. Him and I won’t be stable if we continue to be this way but I’m not sure how I’m going to get his sleep back on track without a huge ugly fight. I need to do it though before the summer is over if I plan to send him back to public school. I’m not sure if I can homeschool him successfully – especially where his father doesn’t want him to be homeschooled – and especially where he needs the strict structure that I don’t seem to be very good at providing. Having this timer here running for this 15 minute writing exercise kind of puts the pressure on things too. It’s sitting right here in front of me just ticking, demanding that I write before the time is up. No luxury of just sitting here and thinking about what I want or need to say before striking the keys. So if I get to sound like an idiot in this I guess that’s the way of it. That’s the way of lot of things I guess. Sometimes I should just do more and spend less time thinking about it so much. I know I would get more done than way. Maybe I would even be happier by spending less time worrying about it all so much less. Would be nice just get things done once in awhile. To have a sense of accomplishment. Just be nice to have less worry. Or even have the energy to do anything really. Would be nice if Little Bear would just sleep at night for a change so I could do stuff.

Time’s up for this Word Vomit Exercise #2