I should have known better than to believe that my husband would be so accommodating. The moment he showed up yesterday morning he wanted to know what my “agenda” was for the day. I told him that I already told him what my plans were: to go to a lawyer can get the divorce paperwork taken care of. And that’s when it started. Him and his father started texting each other like crazy. His father needed his car back right now instead of that night like he had told the boys the night before.
So I told him then we get the paperwork taken care of before he did anything else with the boys that day. The entire time in the car and while I visited one office after the next trying to find a lawyer that wasn’t on vacation or booked for the day, he was texting non-stop. I did finally find an office that wasn’t busy but the secretary explained that technically in our state divorce isn’t settled out of court. You can do all the paperwork out of court but you still see a judge. I knew this. If the divorce is uncontested, you don’t need a lawyer. All you need to do is swing by the courthouse and pick up the packet for $5, fill it out and send it in. The court house was just down the road and the clerk would explain the process.
Okay then… I get the packet. They explain the process. Once you get the signature that the defendant has been served sent in, it’s a 60 day wait for it to be processed and then you go in. If children are involved there are two hearings. One is for the actual divorce and the other is for the custody and visitation arrangement because technically these are two separate cases. And yes, if you are in agreement about how you want that to go you can either put that in writing ahead of time to send in or just tell the magistrate when you get there. Naturally my husband had no time what so ever to do any of the paperwork with me. He had to go now.
But… he could spend almost a full hour with the boys before actually heading out without any texting at all. I saw what you did there. I’m not blind nor stupid. I’m just kicking myself in the ass for not setting up an appointment with a lawyer beforehand to make sure this had gotten done before he could bail. Because at this point seeing what he has done, I have doubts that our divorce is uncontested. I have no doubt that he isn’t actually in agreement with the custody and visitation. I believe that him and his father tag teamed together with that whole texting and needing the car to delay shit. It’s what they do.
Fuck this shit. At least he’s on his way back to the Army now. I’ll get this paperwork started on my own.