Episode 3 is up and it took me all day yesterday writing it off and on to get it posted in the wee hours of this morning. Not what I was hoping, but it’s written. Wasn’t an action packed episode either. I allowed myself some time for development and I needed to introduce two more characters. Total of 2140 words so not bad, but according to the NaNo site it puts me at the average of 1279 words per day. I didn’t expect for this event to be so anxiety inducing when you’re not even competing against anyone really. But then again I have never written for word count before.
I also realized that my protected posts might make it difficult for people to follow the actual story posts so I may need to go back and make those protected posts private so they aren’t cluttering up the story feed. I don’t know how to make it so the work sheets and notes have their own section with their own feed. Would be nice if I could do that.
Yesterday I also built two desks. In the beginning I had some trouble with the screws. It felt like right off the bat they were trying to strip themselves and I exploded over it. Dad came up the stairs when I called for him and he checked out for me. He explained that they are “self threading” screws and showed me how they worked. Then he left to let me finish the project by myself. He didn’t take over and he didn’t hang over me to supervise. Pretty damn awesome if you ask me. After I completed the first desk, he asked me to drive him to the town an hour away for an errand so Scholar Owl, Dad, and I ran errands. I picked up some hot chocolate and hot cider for the k-cup machine while we were out. When we got back I started on the second desk.
Now let me just say I am not very fond of instructions that rely heavily upon black and white pictures. I ended up taking this desk apart three times at various stages because I had it upside down or backwards. My biggest complaint with this particular set of instructions was that the pictures were not exact. It was just plain panels with words on it like “unfinished side” or “finished side” but wouldn’t show where the attached rails were and you wouldn’t know until 4 steps later that you had the damn thing upside down. I also discovered that somehow when it came time to put the drawer in, that I put the rails in backwards. No idea how I managed that. Now the screws catch a little because cross threading when I fixed it because NO I WASN’T GOING TO TAKE THE ENTIRE DESK APART JUST TO REDO THE RAILS. But I now have a small desk for me and a small desk for Little Bear waiting for computers to be brought up there.
And of course I woke up stiff and sore as hell. Like I needed Scholar Owl’s help getting off the couch this late morning because no one woke me up. The boys got themselves up and let me sleep in and when I did finally woke up, I couldn’t move. I almost think I need to see someone to realign my spine. I know it was a mistake to sleep on the couch and this is why I usually snag the Lazy-Boy. Oh well, I’m moving around now! Maybe I’ll get some serious writing done too, but more coffee first.
All in all I think yesterday was productive for me. I even had a good chat with my dad about what he really meant with my computer use. I asked him to tell it to me straight. He said it wasn’t that he didn’t want me to write and he didn’t have anything against whatever it was I do on the computer. What he’s worried about is my health. He has heart problems and diabetes and he doesn’t want me to end up with the same. I’m pre-diabetic. That’s no secret. So what he wants is for me to balance that with some physical activity. Okay, that’s fair and clear. I get it. I also told him that it’s my life and my choice what to with it. He said as a parent he isn’t going to stop worrying. And boy, I know that to be fact but I told him there is a difference between worry and micromanaging. Bleh… that launched a can of worms to some extent. He went into a mini rant about Mom. He’s guilty of it but in different ways. But for now, him and I are good.
But he’s also back in the mind set that Bipolar doesn’t run in his family and he doesn’t think he has it. My first cousin having it isn’t proof enough for him either. Trying to explain genetics and epigenetics to this man is like pulling teeth. He looked at me yesterday and said they don’t understand medicine like they think they do. I don’t think it’s that so much as we are making rapid discoveries. But then again it’s hard to say. I live with a family that distrusts the government and believes that to some extent information is being controlled. At some point though you have to decide where to place your trust.
I prefer to pay attention to academia. I prefer to pay attention to who is paying for that research. I don’t mind being wrong. I don’t mind looking at both sides. And I won’t stop asking questions as long as I continue to think. After all, in my life it seems like every answer brings another question any way. Nothing is ever black and white or cut and dry. It’s just not. Life is messy and it always will be.
8 thoughts on “It’s Now Day 5 of NaNoWriMo”
I think that it’s great that you challenged your father’s notions about how you are running your life. Based on what you wrote here, it sounds like he is trying to come from a caring place, even if he does have his head in the sand a little.
Yea, I think it is a case of a mix of serious concern and denial. So he’s tackling the things he that have effected him. True my cholesterol was high in my last labs but he doesn’t seem to get that even though psych meds can do that why I am reluctant to just up and switch them. It’s not like switching a brand of insulin or changing the dose of aspirin. He doesn’t seem to grasp the profound meaning of when we say “You change a psych med, you change everything.”
And it is all too true. I live in fear of becoming too used to my lithium. Med changes are always hard.
I hear you. It bothers me that my migraines at creeping back. I hope that it’s just because of all the crap that’s going on and not because I’m building up a tolerance to the med. Thankfully my dose is technically below therapeutic levels so I do have room for increases, but you can only do that so many times.
Yeah, with everything you have going on right now you can probably expect some breakthrough stuff.
That’s what I keep telling myself, but you know how the worry is and all those “what if” questions that haunt you.
Yeah, I get it. I spend a lot of time sitting with my “what ifs”