I blew off my mood tracker by accident this week for the most part. And in doing so it messed up a bunch of stuff along with it. So was my mood screwed because of it or was it the stress of the week that did that? Don’t know, don’t care. I will say that I did notice a distinct clearing of the mind earlier in the week compared to later in the week. I didn’t think the lower dose of Topamax was causing brain fog, but it is. It was easier to write on those days than it was last week. Last week the words came in a slog, this week aside from one episode they flowed. Then again this could be due to hypomania trying to seep in. I can feel it. It pressing against me in my mind and for the first time since I started taking the Topamax, I have honestly considered stopping the med. It doesn’t help having my parents harp on me about “motivation” all the time but… to be able to truly think clearly again. But the price to be paid for that for me is the migraines. How many days of wonderful amazing clear thought will I get before I’m slammed with the kind of pain where I wish for death again? I don’t want to be there.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding into Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding into Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~ November 11, 2016
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Saturday ~ November 5, 2016
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 10m – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 10am
- 800 Ibuprophen @ 10am (back pain)
- 800 Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 75mg Topamax @ ?
Meals
- 1 Cups of Coffee
- 4 pancakes
NaNo Word Count: 2141
Sunday ~ November 6, 2016
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: ?
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ ?
- 800 Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 800 Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 75mg Topamax – forgot to take
Meals
- ? Cups of Coffee
- ? food
NaNo Word Count: 3251
Monday ~ November 7, 2016
Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: ?
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ ?
- 800 Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 800 Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 75mg Topamax @ ?
Meals
- ? Cups of Coffee
- ? food – spaghetti I think?
NaNo Word Count: 5285
Tuesday ~ November 8, 2016
Mood: 1 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: ?, up at 6am – ? total hours of sleep
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax – forgot to take
- 800mg Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 800mg Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm
Meals
- ? Cups of Coffee
- those cheese stick things wrapped in meat again for lunch
- didn’t eat dinner
Notes
- got stuck babysitting nephew at the last minute, got no packing or moving done as a result, next to no writing done either
NaNo Word Count: 800
Wednesday ~ November 9, 2016
Mood: 1 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 6am – ? total hours of sleep
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 800mg Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 800mg Ibuprophen @ ? (back pain)
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- ? Cups of Coffee
- Chicken Nuggets and Tater Tots
Notes
- Once again my time for moving got mandated on me – got stuck set up my bedroom/living room just so my parents could have their living room downstairs which is all well and good but I’m in a time crunch trying to get my shit out of the apartment before the 30th and we could have rearranged the house after we got my shit out of the apartment, but NO, this HAD to be done TODAY – thanks Mom, let’s just let them steal all my stuff and do whatever with it, we don’t care do we?
NaNo Word Count: 1508
Thursday ~ November 10, 2016
Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 1
Hours of Sleep: bed at 8:30pm, up at 6am – 9.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 3:30pm
- 1 Zyrtec @ 5pm (don’t know the mg on it, it’s otc – ears feel so stuffed up)
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- ? Cups of Coffee
- Hot Dogs, Boiled Potatoes, Carrots
Notes
- My Therapy Appointment
- Repeat of yesterday after my therapy appointment, was told that tomorrow I can just take the boys with me to do all that packing since they don’t have school tomorrow – sure great plan because I can get so much done with them there fucking off, fighting, and whatever else that isn’t packing, cleaning, or actually moving things and when the 30th comes along and my shit isn’t moved it will be my fault because I didn’t put my foot down and tell them that I need to do things my way or ask people that can and will actually help me to help me out with this shit because for some reason I keep wanting to run with whatever stupid shit that my parents come up with so as to not piss them off or hurt their feelings or whatever reason that’s holding me back – but seriously, if I want this done I need to change the way I’m going about it.
NaNo Word Count: 3575
Friday ~ November 11, 2016
Mood: 1 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 12:30am, up at 6am, napped between 1:30pm-3pm – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 6 Cups of Coffee
- 3 of those smoked mozz. cheese sticks wrapped in pepperoni for lunch
- Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Carrots
Notes
- No public school today
- got tired about mid-day (1:30pm or so, after finishing Episode 9)
- Should have taken boys to apartment to pack like parents wanted, but didn’t have it in me to deal with it and my parents seemed to have made it clear they weren’t going to babysit Little Bear
NaNo Word Count: 4437