A week filled of a lot of… nothing really. I’m pretty sure my mother’s head is filled with accusations of no motivation. I could get more done if she would quit with her passive aggressive meddling, interference, and outright micromanaging. Either just push me aside, take over, and do it all for me OR get the fuck out of my way, shut up, and let me do it on my own. This business of hovering over me and telling me how I should be doing but not lifting a finger to help while doing other shit that gets in the way to the point I can’t get anything done is bullshit. Didn’t help that this was also the week of appointments. I missed one by accident and another was canceled. Still it screwed up a bunch of plans.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding into Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding into Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Saturday ~ November 12, 2016
Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 2
Hours of Sleep: bed at 1:30am, up at 7am – 5.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 9am
- 1 Zyrtec OTC @ 9am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 2pm
- 800mg Ibuprophen @ 7pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 5 Cups of Coffee
- 3 smoked mozz. sticks wrapped in pepperoni
- mindlessly munched on cheesy popcorn while writing
- boiled potatoes, hamburger gravy, canned peas, homemade biscuits
Notes
- No packing done. Dad worked on the last room upstairs off and on until 4pm while Mom was at work. Then at 4pm, my brother’s kids came over to be babysat. Funny how they are always available for them for that. At least I now have a room upstairs to “hide” so it isn’t dumped on me. Going on three months waiting for these 3 rooms to be just spackled and painted. Oh wait, that’s right the kitchen HAD to be done too in all that. But I’m the one that lacks motivation here. What I lack is support and help. I can’t get shit done with Little Bear under foot. I can only get so much of it done alone while he is in school. This is why I had waited to put my notice to move as long as I had. I was hoping that now that I had put my notice in and had a deadline that they would hurry up and get that last room done… but no. Not really. Now they expect me to rent storage space. Okay fine. I still need help to move it all and expecting these children to do it is not a realistic expectation. I mean come on. Little Bear is SEVEN YEARS OLD. I didn’t even help move back then. The military had movers for us and Mom would have us go out when they came to get us out of the way. Yet Dad wants me to take Little Bear with me and have him pack and do all this with me when I wasn’t allowed back then? Logic is broken.
NaNo Word Count: 2800
Sunday ~ November 13, 2016
Mood: 2 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 3
Hours of Sleep: bed at 10:30pm night before, up at 3am, bed at 3:30am, up at 5:30am – 6.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 1200mg Ibuprophen @ 3am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 9am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 5 Cups of Coffee
- A little bit of pork roast for lunch
- 2 slice of pizza for dinner
Notes
- No plans for packing/cleaning today. Today is my brother’s day off so I expect he will be coming over to get stuff done at some point, if not at least I will get some rest – and my brother didn’t show up but my dad did get more of the spackling done on his own
NaNo Word Count: 2015
Monday ~ November 14, 2016
Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm night before, up at 6m – 9 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 8 Cups of Coffee
- Half a Pulled Pork Quesadilla at Rick’s place (if you live in my area and know the chef then you know what and where I’ve talking about)
Notes
- didn’t get much packing done, but did find out that the nearest storage unit place is full so now I need to find some other place and quick
- missed Scholar Owl’s therapy appointment
NaNo Word Count: 1356
Tuesday ~ November 15, 2016
Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 6am – 8 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 6 Cups of Coffee
- 1 Large Coffee from Gas Station
- the other half of that Quesadilla
Notes
- My therapy
- I guess Dad plans on starting the painting?
- I hope to find another storage unit and I hope to find a new dresser to replace the one that is falling apart in Tuxedo Cat’s apartment bedroom
NaNo Word Count: 2166
Wednesday ~ November 16, 2016
Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 1
Hours of Sleep: bed at 10:30pm night before, up at 6am – 7.5 hours sleep
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 8am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 2pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 5 Cups of Coffee
- a cheese stick
Notes
- Neuropsych Intake Appointment – Cancelled
NaNo Word Count: 3809
Thursday ~ November 17, 2016
Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 1
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 6am – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 12pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 6 Cups of Coffee
- 2 Bowls of Macaroni w/ Parm. Cheese
Notes
- No one was there at the self storage unit that was advertising their space in the paper – like seriously people? why are you advertising then? this is the downside to living in the sticks – and OF COURSE my mother wanted an update as soon as she got home from work and OF COURSE she HAD to print me a damn map to the place, honestly I did go to the correctly location, I’m not stupid – I even checked the photo of the place on Google maps before I left
- They did call me back to reschedule the neuropsych appointment (hurray!)
- No packing or cleaning got done sadly
- Mom decided that painting didn’t needed to be done today. So it didn’t get done, but she’s miffed that I don’t have a storage unit yet. Excuse me for waiting for an important phone call while shopping through the directory for more companies.
NaNo Word Count: 4307
Friday ~ November 18, 2016
Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 1
Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6am – 5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 9am
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 2pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 5 Cups of Coffee
- 4 breaded fish fillets, 1 handful of fries
Notes
- Little Bear’s Med Clinic Appointment
- Mom didn’t seem impressed yesterday to hear that I had an appointment that would take most of my day and that because Little Bear’s meds are low I can’t reschedule it. I’m tired of apologizing for not being able to fix in someone else’s box. Fuck this noise.
- I swear the food here is going to kill me – high fat, processed, or fried most of the time
NaNo Word Count: 4126
Wow! I’m impressed with your focus and self-discipline with your detailed assessments amongst everything else that your day involves
The devil is in the details as they say. I think. I overthink. And I think some more. I would do all this with my sons too but… Ugh, that’s where I feel lazy. Honestly sometimes I do wonder if I have OCD because I feel guilty if I don’t write this stuff down. It bugs me if I’ve missed a day or if I forgot to write down what I ate and then come back then next day and not remember what it was I ate and have to write “I forgot” and the worst part of it is, I never remember to print any of this off to bring into the clinic so my doctors never see any of this. I just tell them what I wrote down. I have a program from a statistics class somewhere kicking around that if I wanted to, I could chart all of this and make a graph and SEE visually how I’m doing. Originally when I started posting this in here I intended to do that every time but I’ve been so busy. Would be nice to have it though. It is nice to have this data though when something goes wonky because then I can go back and see if it’s something I’m doing or if it’s a med change or something else.