Today word count validation opens up. According to my Excel sheet, I have 2068 words left to go to “win” this event. I’ve already bought myself a pack of Djarum Black (the clove flavor) to celebrate the occasion but I haven’t opened it yet.

Spare me the speeches. I have yet to find a liquor or wine that tastes better than this and it doesn’t fuck with my meds so… this it is. Besides, recreational pot just became legal in Maine and still I will choose tobacco over everything else. It calms my rage with zero brain fog – nothing else does that for me. We’re all going to die someday and chances are my meds will do me in sooner by way of the kidneys than the tobacco. Let me have my poison and I’ll let you have yours.

A part of me wants to stay in and write to push past the 50k mark to get the validation done. Maybe it would alleviate some of the pressure in my being but “project completion depression” can be a huge trigger for those with Bipolar and I’m already feeling a slight panic from the idea that my novel is coming to an end. I realize that the real work hasn’t even begun. It needs a ton of revision. That’s where the true work begins. But this will be the first time I have ever finished writing the first “vomit draft” of a novel.

Yesterday when we were hauling boxes to the storage unit, one of those boxes contained the copy of my handwritten, unfinished vomit draft from middle school. It will stay there in its unfinished state forever most likely. I’m not connected to the characters anymore – or rather I think the characters might have evolved into what I’m writing now? I’m not sure. I just know THAT story doesn’t speak anymore but I keep it just in case.

I’m pleased as punch to see that Scholar Owl has taken an interest in reading my old books on writing and he is talking to me more on the writing process. In the NaNo forums I’m told that there is a Camp NaNo in April and in June so maybe you will see both of us doing this process soon next year. I think it would be a good homeschool experience for him and I also think it will be a fun project us to do together.

Both Scholar Owl and Tuxedo Cat helped me out yesterday with the boxes. My car is small so I feel like we spent more time driving than anything. Surprisingly, Tuxedo Cat didn’t complain or whine at all during the entire process and when I had to buy a second lock because the first lock was too big, the boys were praised in the store for their politeness. The lady didn’t see them earlier that morning! lol

Hopefully we can get more done today, even though I would much rather stay home, rest, and write. Pretty sure I’ve said this already? Yea… think I did.

Well ever onward! Time to rally the Goblin Horde! There is just not enough coffee in the world for this.