Well I started out the week feeling like I was climbing the walls and by mid-week I really was starting to become concerned, but I think I’m finally pass the crisis point. We’ll see though. The excessive laundry mess I’ve been sorting through for donations is just about done FINALLY. Took about two weeks of straight washing, folding, and sorting. Already shipped out SIX 13 GALLON SIZED BAGS out of this house over to the Salvation Army stuffed right full of clothes. And as of tonight I already have 5 more bags to take over there. It’s ridiculous. I’m all done letting people just give me clothes. And the next time someone just dumps me bags of clothes on my porch like this, I’m not bringing it inside to sort. I’m just hauling it straight to the nearest charity. I can’t handle this kind of volume. This is insane. I realize people think they’re helping but I don’t need this kind of help.

Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1

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Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~

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Sunday ~ December 11, 2016

Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 2 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: fell asleep at who the fuck knows when, got up at 12pm – ? total hours

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• morning meds missed – someone kick me in the ass, this so can’t be helping my life
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 5 cups of coffee
• around 5am this morning I had the bright idea of cracking open this partial bottle of wine I had to remind myself of what it tasted like so I could use it to describe the flavor of the “Devil’s Fruit” in the story I’m currently working on, it’s different: it’s a white wine that tastes bittersweet and peppery – I can’t even pronounce the damn thing never mind spell it – anyhow I got this from Rick at the place I go out to eat all the time and ONE 8oz. glass, with dinner, rendered me incapable of driving for about 2 hours, no joke, so I took the rest of the bottle home and it has sat in my fridge this entire time, so I drink it out of the fucking bottle as I’m writing not even thinking about this when I had only planned to taste it for that one part of the story… NOPE. The bottle was half full and I think I drank half of that… and made myself sick – still trying to figure out why wine hits me weird, like when I woke up I felt fine with no hangover unlike the hard cider but the hard cider doesn’t make me sick or give me vertigo – and this is drinking the same amounts. just odd if you ask me
• leftover steak (seriously that’s it)

Notes

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Monday ~ December 12, 2016

Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 6:30am – 2 hours total (fuck this shit) – did end up napping later with Little Bear, but I don’t know when or how long

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am (at least I remembered them)
• 75mg Topamax @ 10pm (better late than never)

Meals

• 6 cup of coffee (seriously not enough for today)
• I literally ate only 2 chips today

Notes

• school snow day (thank you Dad for paying attention to the weather and the news and saving me the hassle of getting boys ready this morning)
• Little Bear has a bad tooth – one he broke a while ago but wouldn’t cooperate with getting fixed before, now it’s bothering him – hoping he will let someone fix it
• Actually wrote an explicit sex scene in a short story – not finished with it yet and I feel it needs serious revision – but now I don’t know where I should post it because this blog isn’t rated for explicit material

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Tuesday ~ December 13, 2016

Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: 0 – nope, no sleep today

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 2 cups of coffee
• 1 large coffee from gas station
• 2 cotto salami sandwiches with cheese on wheat

Notes

• my therapy and it can’t get here soon enough
• bought a pack Djarum Blacks for myself – really shouldn’t have, but did
• got a lot of the laundry cleared up, still a lot left but getting there
• getting really foggy in the head here as the day draws to the end, bleh, still haven’t done any writing yet
• writing didn’t happen

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Wednesday ~ December 14, 2016

Mood: 2 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 7am – 3 hours of sleep (it’s something at least)

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 8:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm

Meals

• 5 cups of Coffee
• 3 hotdogs, mac & cheese

Notes

• Little Bear stayed home due to tooth and the school sending him home for it yesterday, I’ll be spending the day today finding a dentist to take care of it, fucking awesome – the timing of all this really couldn’t have been better, with the husband coming soon
• Little Bear’s dental appointment @ 1:15pm (see post)

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Thursday ~ December 15, 2016

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 3pm – 11 hours total (holy shit)

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• slept through morning meds
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 4 cups of coffee

Notes

• slept through and then forgot to take care of paperwork, payment, and drive it over there for storage unit – bleh need to do it first thing tomorrow morning, no exceptions, might as well drop off clothes I have bagged for Salvation Army so far while I’m at it

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Friday ~ December 16, 2016

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 3am – 1 hour total (given how much I slept yesterday, surprised I slept at all)

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 4 cups of coffee
• 2 pkg. instant oatmeal
• 2 cotto salami sandwiches with cheese on wheat

Notes

• Mom seemed to be quick to bitch about me today even though neither her or Dad were home much today – not even sure what she was bitching about, just caught my name and her tone but she would shut up the moment I’d come into the room or if she saw me
• Dad fussed over me quite a bit today too – wondering if this is part of Mom’s bullshit today?
• I don’t know, but this is getting old

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Saturday ~ December 17, 2016

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2:30am, up 9am – 6.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 9am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 4 Cups of Coffee
• Custom Made Ramen 2 bowls
• Peanut Butter Sandwich on Wheat

Notes

• almost done with sorting through that damn laundry!!!
• while doing that, worked on the outline for the Chaos Pen Challenge #6 – really would like something light hearted and fun this time around

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