Okay so today Little Bear and Tuxedo Cat thankfully did not fight with me this morning getting ready for school. Figures that it’s Friday and that they cooperate.

I’m feeling semi alive today so I decided that I would actually read my novel and start marking off the individual scenes in it. This meant I needed my own printed copy because… reasons. I don’t know. There’s just something to be said about having a printed copy to READ. I still feel this way about books too. The smell of books is divine and nothing anyone will ever say will ever change my mind on this. Either you agree or you don’t. End of discussion. It’s not up for debate. At all.

Anyway I ran out of ink! *dies* And I ran out of paper! *dies again* Which meant I needed to haul my flailing corpse to the store to resupply my printer ink and printer paper just so I could have a printed copy of my novel to smell and scribble on. Because reasons I can’t even fully explain why this is even a need. But it is. Trust me. Like having to have freshly sharpened brand new pencils at the start of a new project. You just HAVE to HAVE them damn it. Old pencils will NOT do. They are just not good enough. They MUST be new. It’s frustrating that I am a highly verbal person with this immense vocabulary yet I cannot explain why these things MUST fucking happen in this particular way or it IS a crisis. I mean I know that I will live and it’s not the end of the world. I know this. And yet… damn it… this shit has to happen this way. Every. Time.

I guess the best way to put it is that it gives a sense of order, peace, and comfort like nothing else will. And for me it’s the damn books, ink, paper, and pencils. Sure I can type at a computer all day and just vomit my thoughts out. But it’s just not the same when it comes time to rip into the meat of your work on the screen. Not sure why that is. Maybe it makes me feel like a writer? Maybe it takes me back to the time of when I was writing back in my younger days before home computers was a thing? I have no idea. I just know I feel this NEED to have it in my hands and spread the pages out and mark it up with a damn pencil like I used to.

I did take Scholar Owl with me so we could drop off the last of the bags of clothing at the Salvation Army. So that’s done. Tuesday he had a med clinic appointment and they sent in his refill. I know I said to send it in to Walmart. I know I did. I also asked for Little Bear’s refill at that time as well. Walmart got Little Bear’s order but not Scholar Owl’s for some reason. So they give me a 3 day emergency supply that night and said they would fax the hospital requesting the script. We swing by this morning to check and the refill is still not there. Like what the fuck? I watched the pharmacist call and leave a message requesting this script. That was at 8:30am. He made sure he had our number to call us back when they had the med ready. It’s now 11am and there hasn’t been a phone call yet. I’m hoping they didn’t send the order to Martin’s Point because I still haven’t had the chance to call them to make sure that my husband hasn’t screwed up the change of address with them. As it is where it’s military I’m not sure if they’re going to let me fix it if he did.

So we go home after that with my paper and ink in hand but no meds. Then I talk to Dad about the damn icicles and he tells me to just take a shovel and knock them down. Using a shovel I was able to shield myself as they came down and I only worried about the ones that had reached the windows. So the icicle problem has been taken care of and no longer a concern. I’m sure Little Bear is going to be pissed off when he gets off the bus this afternoon. I can live with that.

Maybe eventually I will actually be able to read my novel and start marking up the pages with my pencil?