I know I’ve been sick all week last week and I know there is a good chance that my mother is being manipulative in all this. All day yesterday and the night before she’s been highly vocal about how we, as in the boys and I, – mostly me – in her weird passive-aggressive way do nothing around here. Yesterday however she became full on force with the boys – targeting Little Bear. I tried to address it but Dad stepped in and shut it down.
Okay you want cleaning done, but why are you targeting ONE child and piling the shit on as he completes one task after the next with the promise of sledding later in the day? This really concerns me and reeks of toxic behavior. Not to mention it’s something my husband does and I’ve watched Little Bear quickly escalate from it because he ends up feeling tricked and cheated. I’ve never been able to get my husband to stop doing this, so how do I get my mother to stop doing it?
I don’t need her to parent my children. I don’t need Dad to parent my children either. I never did. Just because they don’t agree doesn’t make it wrong. I’m following the hospital’s care plan. For a reason. I wish they would understand that.
I almost feel like she is doing this because she is pissed off at me for not clearing up the boxes of shit that is still in the living room fast enough to her liking so instead of targeting me directly, which so far has gotten her no where, she went after Little Bear. I don’t like this game she is playing. a part of me wants to give in to protect my sons but in doing that I’ll be teaching her that playing that fucking card works. And I don’t want to even be playing this fucking game at all much less to let THAT fucking card to work at all.
It’s why I want a divorce. It’s why in part I feel sick so often. The past two weeks I’ve had to deal with both my husband’s bullshit and hers. They both play the same fucking games. I’m tired.
So here are the things I need to get done this week:
- I need to call the hospital and get Scholar Owl’s medicine straightened out
- I need to get the boxes of dishes washed, sorted, packed, and taken over to storage
- The only appointments I have this week is Therapy Tuesday for me and Scholar Owl at the same time in separate wings of the building
- Figure out how to appease my mother without making her feel like she is winning her bullshit games – this part is exhausting
- Figure out how to live my life here without allowing my mother control every second of my fucking life and not launching World War III in the fucking process – also fucking exhausting
- Get myself well from this fucking chest and head cold