Dream of a Kiss

I have been without meds since last Friday. Next med clinic appointment is next week. Maybe my refill order won’t get messed up this time. One would think that my appetite would have improved by now, but it hasn’t. I have no idea how long Topamax stays in your system so I don’t know if this is normal. I have noticed something else though that tells me it’s wearing off: this morning I woke up from a dream.

The dream wasn’t bad or frightening. It’s just I haven’t dreamed much of anything, or at least remembered them with this much clarity, since I started taking this med. A stranger kissed me and I woke up. Honestly it’s not that much in the way of dreams. What strikes me odd about it is that in the dream I was behaving like my 19 year old self. I was bold and unafraid. Flirting was an natural as breathing. Him kissing me didn’t feel like suffocating.

It’s been a little over 12 years that it’s felt safe to be kissed on the lips. Why would I dream something like that now after so long? I feel a little sad about it. I feel a sense of loss and regret. Maybe even a tad lonely. Depressing that an simple dream of a relatively chaste kiss triggers these emotions.


9 thoughts on “Dream of a Kiss

  1. Hello. How you doin? I just want to let you know that you have a great thing going on here, your posts are very inspirational and I feel very proud that I am a part of this community, I get to see and read thoughts from people, their experiences, their own version of the world. I am looking to reading more of your posts. I just got back from a two months writing hiatus and I’ve never felt better. I will follow your blog and I hope you can follow me back. Thank you! Have fun writing! 🙂

      • Sounds hard. I used to write my dreams down for some time. You have to write it down in the moment you wake up, without even getting out of bed. It made me remember them very well. It was very interesting, you kind of get insight in your inner self. I don’t know if it would help you or not, but maybe worth a try?

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