I went in Monday for the parent meeting to go over the eval. It was hard. The woman was slow getting to the point. She beat around the bush and hemmed and hawed the entire way through. She interviewed me AGAIN. Asking me questions that should have been covered already in the reports from the school and our hospital. Made me feel like she hadn’t read any of it – but she had and she was making sure. She was reluctant to tell me her findings.
The two days she worked with Little Bear she said she saw a mixed state episode in him. She saw him once in December and once in January. Her interview with him, without me present, had him scored high on the depression scale. I wasn’t prepared for that. I don’t know how I could have missed that. It hurts to know my baby hates himself that much right now and that I didn’t see it. If I had I could have done something sooner.
They ruled out Juvenile On-Set Schizophrenia (thank God!). They ruled out Autism. He refused to complete the Dyslexia screening but the other tests he did complete is clearly showing a reading deficit. So it’s a matter of figuring out what’s causing it. They can’t rule out ADHD Hyperactive Type until the Bipolar is stabilized first.
Yeah, that’s right. Bipolar. She said he’s consistent with Bipolar and his current trajectory points to Bipolar Type 1. The problem is a child this young presenting this early and this severely is exceptionally rare. This illness usually doesn’t kick in before the teens. So I have no idea if his diagnoses will change right now. They’ll be sending all the paperwork to the school and the hospital. I’m supposed to get a copy as well to put in his Diagnostic Portfolio.
Little Bear has a med clinic appointment next week. I’ll be discussing with them the findings and what our options are. I’m expecting an increase in the Lamictal. They may or may not want to add something to it.
One would think that I would be relieved. One would think that I would be happy to hear that we’re on the right track and to keep doing what we’re doing. One would think that I would be reassured being told that there is a treatment plan for Bipolar with ADHD that doesn’t involve stimulants. She wrote down IEP recommendations and said it should help in getting that in place for him.
I don’t feel relieved. I’m not happy. I don’t find comfort in her reassurance.
I’m grieving instead.
Sorry, I hope they get his meds straight. Such a shame someone that young is going through that kind of stuff. It’s hard enough as an adult to deal with mental illnesses!
Too true and I’m worried as fuck.
This stuff is so hard. I understand why you’re grieving. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. The situation with both of my kids is so convoluted and non-linear that I’ve been minute to minute and haven’t been able to write about it in a direct way. I will throw this out because it has put us on a different treatment path — has anyone mentioned PANS or PANDAS, and have any drs mentioned genetic testing? I ask because we were on such a path with my oldest & antibiotic treatment for PANDAS eliminated the worst psychological symptoms. I was leery & still went forth with the neuropsychological testing to cover all bases but the aggressive antibiotic treatment eliminated 90% of the rage/mania stuff we were dealing with with my now 9yo. All I can say is keep plugging away. He’s going to be okay but I very much get how difficult it is to help your kids when your own mental health is fragile.
Actually, I have considered PANS/PANDAS as a possibility given the horrid condition our old apartment was in. I need to find out who to talk to about getting him tested for it, just in case.
That crazy witch accused us for the mold growing in the walls but seriously what the hell does she expect when your plumbing and ceiling leaks everywhere? My dad even suggested that we all get tested but I think I would rather have just one tested and what happens. If Little Bear has it, then sure I’ll get the other two tested.
Of COURSE you are grieving right now. If you weren’t upset, I’d be worried about you. But, somewhere, in the back of your brain, behind the grief, there is a little bubble of relief that you are on the right track, that this is being figured out, and that he will be treated properly. It’s something that you may never even feel actively. But, that’s ok, because you KNOW it. In a logical sense. But, yes, you are so so so entitled to your grief right now. And we are all here for you. <3
Thank you. <3