Been a rough week. At home, emotionally, mentally… and as a writer. This week ends on a note that makes me wonder how far down I’m sliding. I have to remind myself to keep going, keep moving, even if I just want to lay down and not wake up. I’m that tired right now. The weight of my life feels crushing. So I found this song “One Step At A Time” by Jordin Sparks because right now, that’s what I need to focus on.
It’s not a race even though it is about getting what needs to be done. I have multiple timelines and multiple threads I’m juggling. I’m tracking the mental health and stability of more than one person here – including my own. The reality of Bipolar is that it’s forever a delicate balance. I’m not always going to be in a good place. My children are not always going to be in a good place. Heaven help us when all of us are not in a good place at the same time. That’s kind of where we’re at right now.
I don’t know what this is going on with me. I feel unsettled and disorganized in my head. It’s not so much emotions as it is my thinking. I’m wondering if the problem is the fact I went off the meds there for a while and the nurse asked the doctor if I should titrate back up. The doctor said my dose was so low I shouldn’t need to, but damn if my head doesn’t feel like I have it up my ass. I hope this fog clears soon – and I mean REAL fucking soon – because today I had to pick up Little Bear from school again for yet another aggressive episode. I need my “A Game” for this shit and I don’t have it right now.
Here’s the link to the YouTube page for the playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg1HTgzHruc&list=PL9nKO8l3c9MMu7hKjJVDOMB3JoDizC5pY
The play list is getting longer and you are welcome to add more songs to the list. I know I’ll keep adding songs as I find them. The songs you add need to fit at least one of the following themes:
You can add them by clicking HERE. Remember the songs can be from any genre and be by any artist. If you don’t have a YouTube account that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to make suggestions in the comments. I will add them to the playlist. At this rate by the end of the year we will have an awesome playlist for a seriously cool party to ring in 2018. That’s pretty sweet to think about.
How did your week go? I hope your weekend is great!