This week I’ve grown lax with documenting. I know my irritability is climbing even though I haven’t recorded any of it. Since realizing the nature of my now ended marriage, I have found myself more likely to call people out on their shit. This week it was my parents. Not sure how to feel about that. Am I really just setting boundaries, or am I just being a bitch? For that matter… why is it when I see anyone trying to set boundaries they are promptly accused of being a bitch? Is it really the case or a means to weaken resolve? In any case, I feel myself wearing down but still unable to rest and my brain is starting to feel like soup. Something has to give.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ March 4, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm, up at 6am – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 25mg Benedryll @ 11am
Meals
- 5 cups of coffee
- 2 Easter carrot cake rolls from Little Debbie – not sure I should be eating these, a burning sensation started shortly after so I’m guessing lemon or orange zest is part of the natural flavors mentioned on the label
- now itching and tightness of breath @ 11am – so done with these, never again
- 1 bowl of homemade turkey noodles
Notes
- tinnitus still driving me crazy
- I almost wish cicadas were native to Maine so maybe this sound it causes wouldn’t bug me so much
- maybe if they were it would feel more like natural background noise
Monday ~ March 5, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
Meals
- forgot to document
Notes
- spent most of the day working on video presentation for food diary
- had to take the power cords of the Xbox and PC from Little Bear since he was yelling so much at the game
- spent evening watch Marvel The Defenders on Netflix only to realize that I need to watch their Iron Fist series to catch up on a few things I’ve missed
Tuesday ~ March 6, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h
Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- 1 large coffee from gas station
- 1 12oz. can Dr. Pepper
- 3 Yogurt cups
- 1 green salad with raspberry vinaigrette
- 1 green salad with MSG free ranch
Notes
- therapy Tuesday
- worked on food diary video
- Little Bear had a great day at school – got a note from the teacher – so I returned the power cords
- headache not bad enough for pain meds, just enough to be there and annoying
Wednesday ~ March 7, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h
Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm, up at 5am – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 600mg Ibuprophen @ 8:30am
- 1 tab Zyrtec @ 8:30am
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
- 2 yogurt cups
- green salad with ranch
- homemade chili with cheese
Notes
- uploaded food diary video – Dad was pissed that his game was bogged down 5:30am because of it – started the upload while people were sleeping, don’t know what else I can do
Thursday ~ March 8, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 6am – 4 hours total
napped 2pm to 5:30pm – 3.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- 1 12oz. can Dr. Pepper
- 1 yogurt cup
- 2 pkgs ramen noodles (MSG free) with 2 peanut butter sandwiches
- potatoes with hamburger gravy and green beans
Notes
- public school canceled due to snow storm
- went back to work on abandoned music video from last week
Friday ~ March 9, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 6am
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
- mac & cheese
Notes
- forgot to document anything
Saturday ~ March 10, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed ?, up at 6am
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- 2 eggs with a couple pieces of bacon and 4 slices wheat toast
- peanut butter sandwich on wheat
- microwave bag of popcorn
- 1 yogurt cup
Notes
Setting boundaries is the absolute best thing any person can do…it doesn’t make you a bitch…the two ain’t related…keep rockin
Thanks! As someone that didn’t used to, I’m quickly discovering that setting boundaries is somewhat of an art. It’s hard not to question myself.
You probably will always question your decisions though setting personal boundaries may become easier…I have a lot respect for someone who says, “wait…no, I don’t like that…stop” then someone who says, “ok, sure…whatever you want…”
Yeah, that whole “whatever you want” has turned into a red flag for me. I’ve learned it can mean a couple of things and none of them are good.
You’re absolutely correct…it’s a blank check to your very being; your soul…never good
I’ve also noticed that passive-aggressive people tend to do it too – only to punish you later for it because it wasn’t what they wanted.
I’d much rather that people were direct with their thoughts and feelings. Why does our society look down upon it so much? I’ll never understand that.
Me either…but oh mercy be on your soul if you get tangled up with a p/a personality!!! It comes in many colors…all toxic
Btw, I like your avatar…
Thank you! I’ve been tinkering around with 3D animation and the avatar is a screen shot of the model I’ve been experimenting with.
It rocks…kinda has a gorillz look to it…
I had to look that up. And here I thought only Japan did animated music artists like that. That’s really cool!
Hey! Glad you looked it up…I love their sound…now I’m gonna havta look Japanese animated rock…
I don’t know of any bands, but in Japan they took the text to speech idea a step further and built phonetic voice banks. They’re marketed for music, but you can make speech if you know the phonetic alphabet. To help market these voice banks, they created mascots. Miku Hatsune was their first Vocaloid. I use the animation program that resulted from their creation.
A brief look at who she is:
https://www.polygon.com/2014/6/24/5834596/who-is-hatsune-miku-video
And a video clip of a live concert using the Miku voice bank and holo tech with a song written just for the mascot:
It truly blows my mind away as to what we can do with computers now.
The Japanese are awesome with electronic stuff….when I looked up “Japanese animated rock music” mostly “nightshade” came up…great sound…regardless of the emotional reactions to them…the Japanese will be producing and selling robotic sex toys to ultra rich in the next 10 years…
Well the custom detailed life-like dolls already exist (not sure from which country), and for quite some time, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the robotics version of all that emerges sooner.
Yep