Toad’s Weekly Assessment #15-2018

Starting next week, I’ll be removing Irritability and Anxiety from the Mood Tracker as symptoms. From now on, I’ll be listing them as the emotions they are when I experience them. When they become excessive, I’ll start listing the accompanying symptomology, the current situation, and start looking at what’s generating these emotions to address the matter head on.

Emotions are not the illness. They are valid responds to our environment – whether it’s within ourselves or outside ourselves. Change this environment, and our emotions will change as well.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~


Sunday ~ June 10, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2:30am, up at 6:30am – 4 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 6:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8pm

Meals

  • 1 large coffee from the gas station
  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 2 basted eggs, home fries, 2 slices of wheat toast

Today’s Feelings

  • Proud
  • Content

Notes


Monday ~ June 11, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 12:30am, up at 6am – 5.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm

Meals

  • 4 cup of coffee
  • 2 chicken burgers on wheat with provolone
  • 1 bag of popcorn

Today’s Feelings

  • Cheerful

Notes

  • spent the day mostly assembling a playlist for my writing project that doesn’t suck
    • YouTube’s auto playlists tend to throw in random songs that don’t actually match the overall collection of songs
    • the playlist is subject to change as I continue to work on this project
  • got a few more chapters outlined
  • I have not touched that feelings chart since mid last week

Tuesday ~ June 12, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 600mg Ibuprofen @ 6pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 2 glasses iced tea
  • 4 cups coffee
  • 4 slices pizza

Today’s Feelings

  • Content
  • Relieved
  • Grateful

Notes

  • therapy Tuesday
    • I’m come to the realization that as much as I have preached that emotions are not a disease, I have in fact been treating them like symptoms rather than natural responses to whatever stimulus I’ve got occurring internally or externally
      • I can even pinpoint roughly on my personal timeline when that started to happen and why this tendency to do that is starting to fade
        • I’m no longer married to this particular problem
        • no longer receiving the daily message my emotions are invalid
        • no longer receiving the daily message that the stimulus triggering my emotions are false
        • no longer trying to seek validation from someone who has no interest in giving it

RealTalk002

  • all the paperwork dealing with my current debt has gone through
    • I have been alleviated of my outstated medical debt incurred during the time we lacked medical coverage and no longer owe anyone
    • my request for deferment for my college loan has been approved for one year

Wednesday ~ June 13, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0.5 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6am – 5 hours total
second night in a row that Little Bear didn’t want to sleep

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @7am
  • 75mg Topamax @7pm

Meals

  • 2 12oz. cans Dr. Pepper
  • 4 cups of coffee
  • 2 glasses of iced tea
  • 3 leftover slices of pizza

Today’s Feelings

  • Proud
  • Slightly Annoyed
  • Happy

Notes

  • Field Day at Little Bear’s school
    • He came home in good spirits
  • undergrad award ceremony at Tuxedo Cat’s school
    • He earned an achievement award in Language Arts
    • Little Bear kept stage whispering about being bored and being thirsty and had trouble sitting still, and before the ceremony started he had to talk loudly to everyone around us, which of course I found obnoxious as hell
  • since #24 was the last Chaos Pen Challenge I had scheduled for this year, I got started getting more set up and scheduled for the rest of the year so I won’t forget

Thursday ~ June 14, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @7am
  • 75mg Topamax @7pm

Meals

  • ? cups of coffee
  • 2 12oz. cans of Dr. Pepper
  • oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots

Today’s Feelings

  • Slightly Stressed
    • noticed a bit of brain fog and muddled thinking today which made daily tasks somewhat challenging
  • Aside from the moments of brain fog, I felt cheerful

Notes

  • meeting at school for Little Bear this morning to meet his teacher for next year
  • spent the rest of the day setting up and scheduling the remaining Chaos Pen Challenges for the year

Friday ~ June 15, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm night before, up at 6am – 8 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • ? cups of coffee
  • pan fried pork chops, mashed potatoes, peas

Today’s Feelings

  • Content
  • Productive

Notes

  • Still working on putting together and scheduling the rest of this year’s Chaos Pen Challenges, finished the day on #47
    • my plan is to do the same with the Chaos Rally when I’m done with this, but we’ll see how this goes since I still need to finish my outline and world building
  • Today is Tuxedo Cat’s last day of school

Saturday ~ June 16, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 6am – 4 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm

Meals

  • 6 cups coffee
  • 1 chicken burger

Today’s Feelings

  • Mildly Annoyed – Little Bear was high energy and high volume today, but not to the point of driving everyone up the wall on-stop
  • Happy

Notes

  • finished setting up and scheduling the Chaos Pen Challenges for this year
  • redesigned and created a template for the Chaos Rally weekly feature for the blog
  • didn’t get around to working on my outline or worldbuilding, but somehow I still feel I was highly productive

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