A lot of random and unexpected irritation this week. Really tried to manage it, but I feel like my system is shutting down despite my efforts anyhow. I hate it when I feel like life is getting the best of me. I know I can do better.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ June 24, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 6am
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- can’t remember if I took AM meds
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
- 16oz. glass of iced tea
- 3 cheese burgers on wheat
Today’s Feelings
- Content
Notes
- continued working on setting up and scheduling the weekly Chaos Rally posts
Monday ~ June 25, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0.5A
Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 6am
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- I did forget my meds this morning
- 600mg Ibuprofen @ 7pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 4 cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- Content
- A bit Tired physically
- probably due to the aura
- Irritable
- as the day wore on, Little Bear became more cranked and loud
- I found this annoying despite that I know he’s just being a kid
Notes
- continued working on setting up and scheduling the weekly Chaos Rally posts
Tuesday ~ June 26, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 5:30am – 6.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 8pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- 1 lg. coffee from gas station
- 3 pcs. smoked sausage
Today’s Feelings
- Content
- Fucking Angry with a Town Office Staff Member
- Slightly Annoyed with the Boys
Notes
- Therapy Appointment
- got pulled over for inspection sticker but come to find out my registration information was all kinds of screwed up – like nine ways to hell – thankfully I had ALL the paperwork from all the other times my family have gone in and tried to fix it before, including the old registration cards that had the official correction stamps on it so the cop called the town office to verify it rather than arrest me for forgery or theft and got a hold of a staff member that actually remembered me and my parents and told him she would fix it today if I came in
- I came in, she wasn’t there, but another lady was and she photocopied ALL the documents I brought in, and fixed everything for me AND renewed my registration since it was due anyway
- cop didn’t even give me a ticket for the expired sticker – called to verify that I did in fact have an appointment to get the car inspected tomorrow
- seriously, this guy didn’t have to go to the trouble he did – for the record, he’s not the one I’m peeved about since he’s just doing his job; my sticker is damn near a year over due and according to the system my plates were over two years old and registered to a old car of mine even though my papers said otherwise so needless to say shit looked really bad for me
- the person I’m pissed off with is the person he spoke to – he had said her name – and she is the one that supposedly fixed this TWICE now and was the one that messed it up in the first place
- if her error had been registering my plates to any other car that hadn’t belonged to me, I truly believe I would have been arrested today – I got lucky that the VINs for both cars involved in this mess were registered in my name
- speaking of which, I still need to get the old one cleaned out and towed to the junk yard so my parents will stop bitching at me about it rotting in the yard
Wednesday ~ June 27, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6am – 5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 9pm
Meals
- 4 cups Coffee
- 1 large coffee from gas station
Today’s Feelings
- Irritated as fuck most of the day
Notes
- Scholar Owl’s med clinic appointment
- got referral for his neuropsych put in
- car inspected, didn’t pass, bunch of bullshit – Dad is pissed too
- music lessons for Tuxedo Cat and Scholar Owl
- grocery shopping
- Dad just had to show me on Facebook that the girl my ex friended the day I signed the divorce application last year announced she is now engaged to him and of course my ex hasn’t changed his status
Thursday ~ June 28, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 6am – 7 hours total
napped 4pm to 7pm – 3 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 10pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- 2pcs. leftover chicken
Today’s Feelings
- Anxious
- Agitated
Notes
- the girl announcing her engagement to my ex yesterday? seems she has me blocked
- I have never spoken to her or have tried to make contact with her in any way
- cooked hotdogs with Tuxedo Cat for dinner but I didn’t eat
- watched the Ghost Rider movies with Dad
- got no writing of any kind done today other than today’s blog post, which oddly took me most of the morning to put together
Friday ~ June 29, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 10am – 8 hours total
BUT this sleep was interrupted a couple of times by Little Bear – at least twice
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- pretty sure morning meds weren’t taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 4 cups coffee
- 2pcs. leftover chicken
Today’s Feelings
- Anxious & Agitated – fuck this guy
- Irritable by the end of the day
Notes
- I feel like I can’t concentrate even though I’m trying like hell to finish up scheduling this year’s Chaos Rally posts
- seriously, is this the PTSD acting up? I feel like all I’m doing is trying like hell not to think about my marriage and my ex – and failing miserably
- my parents installed the air conditioners in the upstairs bedrooms today
- almost 90°F in my room today and that isn’t counting the humidity
- kept hearing thunder this afternoon, but it never rained
- Finished scheduling the Chaos Rally posts for this year at 3:30am
Saturday ~ June 30, 2018
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 3:30am, up at 10am – 6.5 total hours
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- missed AM meds – seriously need to get my sleep back in order
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
Meals
- 5 cups of coffee
- 2pkgs. instant oatmeal w/ buttered whole grain oatmeal toast
- way more pizza rolls than I should have eaten
Today’s Feelings
- Irritable – Little Bear was loud and rambunctious today
- Productive
Notes
- got all of the mini writing prompts scheduled for Camp NaNo next month