Toad’s Weekly Assessment #18-2018

Talking to my brother that lives on the west coast near the end of the week has made me realize that I may need to request a med for my anxiety. As he said it could be just a temporary thing until I can get some lifestyle changes in place, but right now my sleep is a mess and I can’t function like this. Any amount of additional stress that comes my way and I’m a wreck. That’s no good. It’s got to change.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~


Sunday ~ July 1, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 7am – 3 hours total
bed at 7:30am, up at 11am – 3.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 4 cups of coffee
  • 2pcs. leftover chicken
  • 1 BBQ Rib, 1 Bratwurst, 1/2c. potato salad, 1/2c. pasta salad
  • 1pc. chocolate cake

Today’s Feelings

  • Restless

Notes

  • scheduled all my blank mood trackers for the rest of this year
    • now I have no excuses for not filling them out
    • if they go up blank, feel free to shame/chide me
  • scheduled all of the Chaos Pen NaNo Bite mini challenges for November this year
  • note sure what else I need to be scheduling for my blog, but I feel like there ought to be something – maybe it is due to this restlessness that I’m feeling?
  • starting to feel like I ought to get back to outlining my novel, but I feel like I’m missing something important despite the fact I haven’t finished worldbuilding

Monday ~ July 2, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 10:30am – 7.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • missed AM meds
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 2pkgs. instant oatmeal, 2 slices buttered whole grain oat toast
  • 2 leftover bratwurst
  • big ass green salad after 9pm

Today’s Feelings

  • Burnt Out

Notes

  • binged watched Bleach all day on Crunchy Roll

Tuesday ~ July 3, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1pm, up at 6am – 5 hours total
napped 2pm to 7pm – 5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 3 cups coffee
  • 1 quart instant iced tea (mixed in a Mason jar)
  • 3 leftover pork ribs

Today’s Feelings

  • I don’t know

Notes

  • returned to work on my Fleurya web series project for my blog
    • more world building and outlining
    • set my Camp NaNo goals for this month to 4 hours a day
    • I put in 8 hours today and completed the outline for Act 2
      • still feel like there is something wrong

Wednesday ~ July 4, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Migraine: 0.5A

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4:30am, up at 11am – 6.5 hours total
napped 12pm to 3pm – 3 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • missed AM meds
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 600mg Ibuprofen @ 9pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 2pkgs. instant oatmeal, 2 slices buttered oatmeal toast
  • 2 slices buttered oatmeal toast

Today’s Feelings

  • Cranky midday, because seriously why am I trying to function?
  • not so Cranky after nap, but still tired

Notes

  • woke up feeling tired

Thursday ~ July 5, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4:30am, up at 6am – 1.5 hours total – fuck why did I even bother?
went back to bed at 6:30am, up at 11am – 4.5 hours total
Little Bear woke me up multiple times throughout all of this
bed at 7:30pm, up at 10pm – 2.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • missed AM meds
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 4c green salad with shredded cheese, cranberries, glazed pecans, pine nuts, 4 tbsp. ranch dressing
  • 2 Cheese Burgers

Today’s Feelings

  • Annoyed as fuck – Little Bear woke up as a cranked up hyper version of the Energizer Bunny
    • shoot. me. now.
  • Tired by the end of the day

Notes

  • my brother living in California called and it was nice to chat with him today
    • it relaxed me a little bit to vent somewhat and hear him out
  • enjoyed being at the music lesson with my two older sons today
    • learned about a reference test using fluorescent lights with Tuxedo Cat
    • discovered that Scholar Owl has a natural sense of rhythm and him and teacher goofed around with the drums at the end of the session
    • the three of them had a good time today and it was fun to watch them

Friday ~ July 6, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 6am – 2 hours total
bed at 6pm, up at 11pm – 5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 8am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 11pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • finished what was left of that salad – maybe a quarter cup?
  • 2pkgs. msg free chicken ramen (really need to say goodbye to those if I want to lower blood pressure)
  • peanut butter on whole grain oatmeal bread

Today’s Feelings

  • Trepidation (took me this long to figure out this is what’s been dominating my emotions since June 27th)
    • for those that don’t know what this word means, it’s dread level anxiety
    • so beyond a 10 on a scale of 0-10
    • it’s just all bullshit that I can’t seem to let go
  • Irritated because they didn’t have the parts that were supposed to be in to get my car fixed today
  • Tried physically after lunch (the ramen meal – like ALWAYS)

Notes

  • today I get my car fixed and it better get its inspection sticker and hopefully it doesn’t take all damn day to get it done
    • had to reschedule for next Wednesday morning
    • hopefully the parts will be in

Saturday ~ July 7, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 12pm, up at 2pm – 2 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 1 cup of sun brewed tea
  • 2pkgs. instant oatmeal, 2 slices buttered oatmeal toast
  • 2 scoops of lite vanilla ice cream with dark chocolate syrup
  • 2 plates of spaghetti with meat sauce and parm. cheese

Today’s Feelings

  • Exhausted
  • Calm

Notes

  • given how this month is going for Camp NaNo, I changed my daily goal to one hour of world building and outlining per day since I’m already not meeting the original 4 hour per day plan – I know probably cheap of me to do that, but I’m not killing myself over this
    • worked on the web series project for 2 hours

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