Little Bear is still over at in-patient with small improvements. My car broke down near the end of the week and the part I need hopefully will be in no later than next Thursday. Still making preparations to launch my online tarot shop. I fully intend to see the light at the end of this tunnel even if it means one baby step at a time. Although, I have to admit right now I feel like I’m crawling.

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Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1

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Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: 10/19/2018

Weigh-In at PCP Clinic: 165lbs. (weighed last week but forgot to document)

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Sunday ~ October 14, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1:30am, up at 6am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 14oz. bottle iced coffee
• cheese, turkey, ham & crackers
• popcorn
• leftover pork chops

Today’s Feelings

• neutral

Notes

• worked on graphic art for the birthday reading offering
• visited Little Bear in the afternoon and watched Despicable Me
• got some laundry done
• watched more Gotham with Tuxedo Cat’s father

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Monday ~ October 15, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0A

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 6:30am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm

Meals

• 6 cups of coffee
• 1.5 cups cream soda
• 1 cup rasp. ginger ale
• cheese, ham, & crackers
• chicken salad sandwich
• leftover pork chops w/ mac & cheese

Today’s Feelings

• bleh…
  • beginning to think I need to bring back the Anxiety and Irritability Scales

Notes

• worked on graphic art for the birthday reading offering
• raining all day
• watched more Gotham w/ Tuxedo Cat’s father (should give him his own nickname)
  • fell asleep on him – again
  • he woke me up to leave around 1am I believe

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Tuesday ~ October 16, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1:30am, up at 6am – 4.5 hours total
napped 4:30pm to 7:30pm – 3 hours of heavily interrupted sleep

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm

Meals

• 2 cups of coffee
• 1 bottle of Gatorade
• 1 turkey and cheese sandwich on white bread
• couple of handfuls of plain chips

Today’s Feelings

• brain fog from hell

Notes

• why is it whenever I decide to take a nap in the evening that’s when everyone and their dog decides to call me? Like, why did I even bother to try?
  • got a phone call from the doctor about changing Little Bear’s meds from everything he’s currently on to Seroquel – slowly
  • got a phone call from nursing staff about how Little Bear punched another child on the unit
  • got a phone call from Little Bear explaining to me why he punched the other child and to request that I read him a bedtime story and request all kinds of other things
    • naturally he felt justified, I disagreed
    • I read him the story
    • I said no to all the other requests
      • not hauling the rest of his toys or whatever else he can think of over there – keep telling him he has reached his limit
    • also found out he lost the book he had brought with him
      • hopefully they will locate it
      • it’s the only one he can/will read for himself right now
• worked on nothing today other than trying to get some sleep during spare time

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Wednesday ~ October 17, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm night before, up at 6am – 9 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 5 cups of coffee
• bottle of cranberry juice
• turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat that looks like white
• oven fried chicken, mac & cheese, mango spears

Today’s Feelings

• I don’t know

Notes

• finished scanning my copy of the Necronomicon Tarot into my computer
• finished graphics and added the birthday reading to my online tarot shop
• watched more Gotham with Tuxedo Cat’s father tonight

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Thursday ~ October 18, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h

Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 7:30am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7:30am
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 6pm
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 2 bottle cranberry juice
• yogurt cup
• cheese, turkey, ham, & crackers

Today’s Feelings

• stressed to the max from the moment the car broke this morning
• brain fog by end of day

Notes

• worked on the graphics to update the other current reading packages to include the Necronomicon Tarot and Panda Tarot decks
• went to the family meeting for Little Bear
  • car lost the belt on the way to family meeting
  • Tuxedo Cat’s father tried to put a new belt in, but didn’t have the tools he needed, said he will try again tomorrow
  • meeting went okay

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Friday ~ October 19, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 1A

Hours of Sleep: bed at 7:30pm, up at 5:30am – 10 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 5:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am

Meals

• 4 cups of coffee
• 1 large espresso/coffee blend from gas station
• 13oz. bottle espresso
• 6in. chicken salad sub on white

Today’s Feelings

• frustrated

Notes

• updated the remaining reading packages in my tarot shop to include the Necronomicon Tarot and the Panda Tarot decks
• visited Little Bear while Tuxedo Cat’s father worked on my car
  • tension pulley was shot
    • replaced it
  • AC compressor was shot
    • my dad had to order it for me
    • expected to arrive this coming Thursday
    • hopefully my car can sit at the hospital parking lot until then
  • I now owe both my dad and Tuxedo Cat’s father
    • I at least filled up his gas tank
    • I still owe him for his time
    • I still owe him a birthday reading – need to get on it
    • no idea how or when I can pay my dad back

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Saturday ~ October 20, 2018

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 1 glass of ginger ale
• 4 sections of homemade waffles

Today’s Feelings

• don’t know

Notes

• had an odd dream about being tasked with killing baby lizards in a huge lab
  • just the ones that hatched, not the eggs
  • someone was in there helping me, but I don’t know who
  • don’t know what kind of lizards they were
  • don’t know why they needed to be killed either
  • I believe this is the second dream I’ve been able to remember upon waking since my son has gone to in-patient
  • I find it odd that before having children that the trend in my dreams was supernatural/paranormal and now they have a biological/medical science leaning
    • for those that don’t know, I did go to college when my oldest two were very young so I’m sure this has a great deal to do with it
• still trying to figure out how I can make a 3D card asset in Blender that I can use in an animation for a riffle and bridge shuffle
  • I really think that would be cool and fun to see and do
  • then I would need sound effects for it of course
• part for the car has been shipped and new ETA is now Tuesday!
• visited Little Bear this afternoon and he was a bit wired
• worked on birthday reading for Tuxedo Cat’s father using 3D renders for images in the template as a test to see how long it will take me and to see how it will look when they’re done

 

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Overall mood for the week: