Overall, I think this week went very well and turned out to be quite productive.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ May 26, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 6am – 7 hours total
napped 12pm-2pm – 2 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
- fried chicken, mashed potatoes, pickled beets, diced mangoes
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- refilled med box
- relieved that I haven’t had to deal with any paranoid thoughts this morning!
- Little Bear has slept all morning
- got the Chaos Rally #21 post finished today
- feel bad that I haven’t finished last Tuesday’s Emotional Tarot post done yet
- pleased as punch that Iron Knight wants to take me out tonight to see John Wick 3
- movie was good, he brought dinner over for me to cook, and we used my car to get there – no sex though after since he was too tired after such a late night movie
Monday ~ May 27, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6:30am – 5.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 1 cups of coffee
- 2 cups Gatorade
- an ungodly amount of ribs, chicken, potato salad, pasta salad, and fruit salad
- oh, and cookies
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- completed last week’s Emotional Tarot post – goes up today
- very sorry about that
- the family BBQ was nicer than expected
- I picked up Iron Knight later in the evening
- we watched something on Netflix I think, but I can’t remember now what it was (writing this down on Wednesday)
- the sex was nice, but it really wore us out
- really ended up paying for all what I ate in bloating and gas
Tuesday ~ May 28, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6am – 5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- leftover ribs
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- Therapy Tuesday
- spoke with her about how Iron Knight asked me what would make me feel less behind on my blog and my answer to him was to have all my Daily Draw posts scheduled for the year
- but I’ve realized that’s the wrong answer since that’s a never ending series
- yes, having it scheduled far enough ahead of time would be helpful but it’s not really an answer
- the answer for that is really when I am timing my scheduling blocks, which really should NOT be in the spring when I experience my down swing in my mood cycle
- it be in the summer or the fall – preferably in the summer when NaNoWriMo isn’t happening
- my upswing is in the fall and I’m the most energetic and creative then – I should be using it for NaNoWriMo or other fun big projects if I can
- unfortunately this seems to be Little Bear’s crash point – another reason for me to NOT have it as a scheduling block for the blog
- my upswing is in the fall and I’m the most energetic and creative then – I should be using it for NaNoWriMo or other fun big projects if I can
- it be in the summer or the fall – preferably in the summer when NaNoWriMo isn’t happening
- the answer for that is really when I am timing my scheduling blocks, which really should NOT be in the spring when I experience my down swing in my mood cycle
- yes, having it scheduled far enough ahead of time would be helpful but it’s not really an answer
- the Emotional Tarot series has an end, if I can get that completely scheduled, it’s over and done with and I never have to worry about it anymore and I can move on to something else
- but I’ve realized that’s the wrong answer since that’s a never ending series
- spoke with her about how Iron Knight asked me what would make me feel less behind on my blog and my answer to him was to have all my Daily Draw posts scheduled for the year
- Little Bear woke up in a horrible mood
- punched and kicked me a lot, called me an asshole many times, didn’t want to go to school, threatened to wreck the classroom
- he lost his computer for the day as a result and still went to school
- punched and kicked me a lot, called me an asshole many times, didn’t want to go to school, threatened to wreck the classroom
- still a lot of painful gas
- Iron Knight didn’t come over to visit today – busy with work and fixing cars
- watched Coraline with Little Bear tonight
- he thought the movie was scary and wanted me to watch it with him
- I can understand why he feels that way about the movie
Wednesday ~ May 29, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0.5 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm night before, up at 3:30am – 6.5 hours total
bed at 4am, up at 6:30am – 2.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:45am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7:45am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7:45am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:45pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7:45pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- leftover ribs
- leftover potato salad and ribs
Today’s Feelings
- content in AM
- happy in PM
Notes
- had a dream that I had this strange webbing in my hair that I thought at first was tangled gray hair, then has I combed it out it made a strange out, eventually I got it all straightened out but then something furry jumped out of it and I woke up
- I never got to see what it was exactly – I just know it wasn’t a spider
- and I have no idea why it was in my hair
- I never got to see what it was exactly – I just know it wasn’t a spider
- completed this week’s Emotional Tarot
- just found out this morning that the Chaos Rally #21 that I had scheduled for 12:30am Sunday didn’t actually publish like it was supposed to, so I had to hit publish manually
- fucking HATE that – I am paying for a business account and things aren’t working correctly
- completed all the card display image renders for the Emotional Tarot series
- Scholar Owl gave his presentation of his senior project at the Adult Ed program today – he did well and will be graduating this June 6th
- I now need to somehow come up with a burgundy/maroon cap and gown for him before then!
- because they didn’t give me the memo until today and the deadline to order was May 10th
- the memo was dated May 14th
- oddly, I kept my cap and gown from graduation – the same school no less
- I just need to find the box they’re in if I can – if I do, I will then need to order a tassel and honor cord for him
- because they didn’t give me the memo until today and the deadline to order was May 10th
- I now need to somehow come up with a burgundy/maroon cap and gown for him before then!
Thursday ~ May 30, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm night before, up at 6am – 9 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- banana and chips
- chicken burgers with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, mayo, and mustard
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- Iron Knight had come over last night to hang out with me and play Red Dead Redemption II, but I passed out while cuddling with Little Bear to get him to go to sleep – it worked at least
- today’s plan is to go through boxes to find my old graduation cap and gown to hopefully save me some money
- Dad gave me the money to order the cap and gown rather than hunt through boxes
- Dad also surprised the hell out of me by asking me how my blog was going and if I was making any money with it yet and I told him not yet and he told me to keep at it, that it takes time to make a name for yourself to start making money and he agreed that I’m at a point in my life that I have nothing to lose so I might as well give it my all and try
- I don’t know…
- did I really misunderstand what he said back then?
- or did he come across too harsh back then?
- I still think he doesn’t really understand how much work goes into writing everyday if you want to make a living out of it
- but he knows I launched a tarot shop and that I feel hung up on putting myself out there in terms of marketing
- although he thinks I should be offering all types of tarot readings, not just specialized ones in my niche
- I don’t know…
- worked on creating the remaining thumbnails for the Emotional Tarot series posts
- music lessons for the boys
- was fun to watch them improve the blues today
- sad to hear that two weeks from now will be the last lesson he can do before summer
- forgot to ask him if he’ll be able to start back up again when school starts
- Iron Knight came over tonight and bought groceries for dinner tonight
- I cooked it of course, but that’s okay
- also bought a 45mg nicotine 30mL bottle of vape fluid while we were out and about
- the store didn’t have mint, so I bought a box labeled “Cool Mango” but when I opened it at home I found the bottle labeled “Mango Menthol” which bothered me a bit since I don’t like menthol all that much
- we’ll see how this goes since the last time I used menthol vape fluid it irritated my throat, but it was just menthol only
- the store didn’t have mint, so I bought a box labeled “Cool Mango” but when I opened it at home I found the bottle labeled “Mango Menthol” which bothered me a bit since I don’t like menthol all that much
- I ended up falling asleep on him again while trying to get a resistant Little Bear to fall asleep
- as a result I also didn’t get the Chaos Rally post done on time either
Friday ~ May 31, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0.5 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 10:30pm night before, up at 6:30am – 8 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- refilled vape well (mango) @ 1pm
- set vape stick 1 to recharge @ 7:30pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:45pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7:45pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
- popcorn and apple (courtesy of Little Bear)
- 2 beef, bean, and cheese burritos
Today’s Feelings
- content
- productive
Notes
- Little Bear woke up on his own at 7am
- finished thumbnails for Emotional Tarot series
- posted Chaos Rally #22
- fixed uploaded saved image titles for Chaos Rally #21
- really annoying that I messed that up and saved them with the wrong dates
- and then I had to make sure I uploaded the correct image into the correct spot for each image and that they got the correct image links
- began creating drafts for the remaining Emotional Tarot posts (7am to 3pm)
- the bonus to this is I caught a missing thumbnail for one of my scheduled weekly assessments in the process and fixed it
- got all the drafts for the remaining posts started
- all that’s left to do is write the poems for them and get them scheduled
- I’ve realized that I haven’t been documenting when I refill my vape well
- need to start doing that again
- the mango-menthol fluid is weird, the mango flavor is mostly an aftertaste it seems – very odd and I’m not sure if I like it
- I’m sure Iron Knight will like the smell of it
- it also has a slight burn to it, which is disappointing because it means it will irritate over time
- it’s not terrible, I just don’t want it to kill my throat
- and of course I just get a phone call from Adult Ed to tell me they got Scholar Owl a cap and gown after I’ve ordered one and have it on the way
- she says it’s fine so long as it’s the right color, so go ahead and bring it in
- seriously hope I haven’t wasted my money
- she says it’s fine so long as it’s the right color, so go ahead and bring it in
- worked on blog 3:30pm to 8pm
- scheduled Emotional Tarot for Ten of Pentacles
- finished scheduling Daily Draw posts for week 27
- scheduled Chaos Rally #23
- started 41 drafts and scheduled 8 posts in 13 hours today and yet I finding myself wondering if I should be doing more still
- and through all of that I’ve been trying to bury the anxiety I feel about how tight money is right now since there is nothing I can do about that
Saturday ~ June 01, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm night before, up at 3:30am – 6.5 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- refilled vape well (mango) @ 4:30m
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- set vape stick 2 to recharge @ 9:30am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
- set vape stick 1 to recharge @ 8:30pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- 2 cups Gatorade
- 2 plate spaghetti with homemade meat sauce
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- worked on blog 4:30am to 9am
- scheduled Emotion Tarot post for Page of Pentacles
- scheduled Chaos Rally #24
- scheduled Emotion Tarot post for Knight of Pentacles
- scheduled Emotion Tarot post for Queen of Pentacles
- Tuxedo Cat went to Special Olympics practice today
- Scholar Owl’s cap and gown arrived this afternoon – I hope the color matches the school gowns
- worked on blog 12:30pm to 3pm
- schedule Emotional Tarot post for Ace of Swords
- thinking that it was easier to stay focused this morning
- not sure if it’s because I was alternating the types of posts I was working on or the time of day I was working – or both
- schedule Emotional Tarot post for Ace of Swords
- Iron Knight came over for the evening
- he played chess with Tuxedo Cat, who is just learnin
- then we took turns playing Red Dead Redemption II
- Dad had me combine spaghetti dinner with him tonight
- he said it was to ease the food burden on me, but I really think it was because he didn’t want to cook