Tode’s Weekly Assessment 2019-35

Long, rough week. School started. Life could be better. Wishing life was better. Needing life to be better.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: 08/25/19 (29 days)

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~

Chaos Rally


Sunday ~ August 25, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -0.5 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 2T

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 8:30am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • refilled vape box (vanilla tobacco 35mg) @ 2:30am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 9am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 9am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 9am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 9am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 9am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
  • refilled vape box (vanilla tobacco 35mg) @ 9pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 3 chicken burgers with lettuce, tomato, onion on a bun
  • golden honeydew

Today’s Feelings

  • content

Notes

  • worked on more of the free readings over at Tarot, Tea, & Me
  • Iron Knight came over to visit
    • we watched Detective Pikachu with Little Bear
    • and no, he didn’t spend the night
  • left shoulder blade has been bothering me big time since late Thursday night, grocery shopping tonight made it worse
  • private notes

Monday ~ August 26, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -0.5 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at 12am, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 250mg Depakote @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 7am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
  • refilled vape box (vanilla tobacco 35mg) @ 10am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee

Today’s Feelings

  • content this morning
  • sorrowful this evening

Notes

  • my mother picked a fight with me today
    • apparently I am breaking her rules and have been since the day we moved in
      • and it’s my fault that she decided not to talk to me about it until now
        • and according to her, because of this, she has every right to unleash her fury upon me about it
          • yes, she said that
    • and now she is giving me the silent treatment
      • I am so tired of people treating me like I have the fucking plague for shit that is beyond my control
  • had a long conversation with Iron Knight over the phone tonight
    • I’m not happy with the way things are – I feel friend-zoned at this point
      • he can choose to grow and evolve with me or not, but I cannot stay in this box he’s trying to put me in
        • he has a very limited time to think about it
  • finished all the free Celtic Cross readings over at Tarot, Tea, & Me

Tuesday ~ August 27, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -0.5 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm, up at 6am – 7 hours total
napped 4:30pm to 6pm – 1.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • refilled vape box (vanilla tobacco 35mg) @ 8am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 9:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 9:30am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 9:30am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 9:30am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 9:30am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

  • 2 cup of coffee
  • 2 chicken burgers with cheese

Today’s Feelings

  • numb

Notes

  • as of this morning, my mother is still giving me the silent treatment
    • and this is the way it has been my entire life with her
      • yet people wonder why I feel the way I do about her
  • Little Bear’s first day of school
  • Therapy Tuesday

Wednesday ~ August 28, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 250mg Depakote @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 7am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
  • refilled vape box (vanilla tobacco 35mg) @ 9am
  • recharged vape box @ 11:30am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 3 slices of fresh cantaloupe

Today’s Feelings

  • just… whatever

Notes

  • right out the gate this morning I got into an argument over a misunderstanding with Iron Knight
  • and of course, come time for his break he asked me if we could start this morning over (like nothing happened… I guess? because I never got an apology for the anger I was hit with)
  • we went over the issue of misunderstanding during his lunch break
    • still no apology
  • yet another misunderstanding this evening
  • took Little Bear to OT
  • I got nothing fucking done today – I feel like shit
  • private notes

Thursday ~ August 29, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm the night before, up at 4am – 6 total hours
napped 1pm to 3:30pm – 2.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 250mg Depakote @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 7am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
  • 500mg Metronidazole @ 7pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 2 chicken burgers with cheese, sauteed peppers and onions, and ranch dressing on a bun

Today’s Feelings

  • calm
  • sad

Notes

  • drafted Chaos Rally #44
  • drafted Chaos Rally #45
  • finally got the antibiotic I need after getting the lab results from last Friday
    • fucking doctor tried to tell me this shit was “hormonal”
      • no details on this one – I’ll be fine – the doctor was just wrong
  • Iron Knight and I appear to be completely, and officially, over – perhaps forever
    • I’ve spent this entire month feeling friend zoned and I’m not happy with it and he’s unwilling to make any changes
      • he wanted things to stay the way they were

Friday ~ August 30, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 6am – 7 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 250mg Depakote @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
  • 500mg Metronidazole @ 7am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 7am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 8:30pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 8:30pm
  • 500mg Metronidazole @ 7pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 2 chicken burgers on buns with sauteed onions and peppers

Today’s Feelings

  • heartbroken and burnt out

Notes

  • and of course, I’m collapsing into pull mode
    • I’m not happy with the way things are, but I’m not happy about leaving him either – and of course, he has already shut the door
      • I really should just turn off the light and walk the fuck away
  • drafted Chaos Rally #47

Saturday ~ August 31, 2019

Daily Draw

Mood: -0.5 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6:30am – 6.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 250mg Depakote @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
  • 500mg Metronidazole @ 7am
  • 1 multivitamin @ 7am
  • 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
  • 250mg Depakote @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
  • 500mg Metronidazole @ 7pm

Meals

  • last night’s leftover coffee
  • 3 cups of coffee
  • ? cups of Gatorade
  • roast beef sub and green salad
  • cheese, salami, crackers and olives
  • mozzarella wrapped in salami

Today’s Feelings

  • numb this morning
  • content

Notes

  • private notes
  • drafted Chaos Rally #48
  • drafted Chaos Rally #49
  • drafted Chaos Rally #50
  • watched Dark Crystal (the movie) and the first 4 episodes of the prequel series on Netflix with Little Bear

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