It’s been a stressful week.

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Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1

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Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~

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Sunday ~ September 22, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1T

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• AM meds forgotten
• 600mg of Ibuprofen @ 12pm
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 2 cups of Gatorade
• 3 slices of pizza, fresh strawberries and grapes, slice of cake

Today’s Feelings

• wrecked, stressed, heartbroken, and agitated as fuck

Notes

• mixed signals from Iron Knight – again
  • can’t even get a straight yes or no from him this morning just so I can make sense of his behavior last night
• birthday party for the boys was hectic, but went okay
  • Iron Knight’s mother actually had the gall to lecture Iron Knight over how he needs to be saving his money, hunting for a place to live, so he can move out of their place at our kitchen table during the party
  • Iron Knight for whatever reason felt the need to sing my praises about how I could have graduated at the age of 16 to his parents while at the party
  • he was unusually touchy-touchy with me for someone that isn’t interested in me anymore – when god forbid I wanted that very same thing back while we were dating
  • and of course he’s super helpful with little to no request
  • and as nosy as his parents are, they never once asked me why we aren’t dating anymore like they have made a point to when they have seen me when we broke up in the past
    • so, I don’t think he’s told them the truth about us for whatever reason – just like he didn’t tell them he had told me Little Bear wasn’t allowed to come to his daughter’s birthday party
  • but sure… accuse me of pressuring him to get back together whenever I return his signals of interest every time he does shit like this

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Monday ~ September 23, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 6:30am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 8am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 8am
• 1 multivitamin @ 8am
• 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 8am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 1 slice of cake
• 1oz. bag of Cheddar & Sour Cream Chips x2

Today’s Feelings

• calm
• rage

Notes

• after having slept on what has transpired over this weekend, I have a much clearer understanding of many things
  • private notes
    • Iron Knight = Rusted Knave
      • tired of the bullshit and mind fucking
• Little Bear’s IEP Meeting
  • we are working on transitioning him to a normal recess with his peers using pre-teaching methods and modeling
  • very proud of the progress he’s making this year already

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Tuesday ~ September 24, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm, up at 5:30am – 8.5 hours total
sleep disrupted a few times thanks to the boys

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
• PM meds forgotten

Meals

• 2 cups of coffee
• 2 Cotto Salami sandwiches on wheat, 1oz. bag of corn chips

Today’s Feelings

• agitated

Notes

• private notes
• got started on my own birthday reading, but haven’t been able to focus on it
• Little Bear had a rough day while I was out of the house for therapy today

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Wednesday ~ September 25, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1A ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 6:30pm night before, up at 1am – 6.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 8:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• piece of roast beef sub with green salad

Today’s Feelings

• calm, but unfocused

Notes

• Little Bear would not sleep last night
• launched a new monthly blog series
  • features a new tarot spread I created for the New Moon
    • I expect refinements as I go this first year, just like the Chaos Rally
  • added Lunar Intention posts to scheduled tasks on my calendar
• already making plans for the blog next year
  • what should the Daily Draw look like?
    • I’d like it to be more fun and less stressful for me to do
    • I still want it to be focused towards overall wellness, my mind is leaning towards affirmations or perhaps quotes from famous people that share themes with the drawn card
  • should the Chaos Rally remain weekly or should it switch over to monthly?
    • if its purpose is to challenge us to work on habits for self-improvement and it takes about 28 days to make or break a habit, shouldn’t it be a monthly post?
    • and if I do make this scheduling change, what new things will I add to fill the empty slots on the other Fridays?

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Thursday ~ September 26, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 1

Hours of Sleep: bed at 7pm night before, up at midnight – 7 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time: ~

• Physical Therapy Appointment ~ 30mins

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7:30pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 1oz. bag of salt and vinegar chips x2
• roast beef sub

Today’s Feelings

• productive

Notes

• added Weekly Assessments for next year to my scheduled tasks
  • this ended up being 53 posts that I needed to figure out the latest possible date that I could prep and schedule them and still have the blog run as smoothly as possible
    • in this particular case, due to the nature of these posts, I need to get them started no later than the week before they go live
      • having the template and getting as much drafted in advanced helps greatly with this
• added Chaos Pen Challenges to scheduled tasks – 53 posts
• added Exploring Characters with Tarot series to task list – 80 posts
• added Chaos Rally to scheduled tasks – 53 posts
• added Daily Draw to scheduled tasks – 371 posts
• added Chaos Pen NaNo Bites to scheduled tasks – 91 posts
• added Exploring Setting with Tarot series to task list – 80 posts
• planned 781 posts so far

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Friday ~ September 27, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm night before, up at 5am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7:30pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• green salad
• 1 cinnamon roll

Today’s Feelings

• calm

Notes

• added Chaos Waves series to task list – 80 posts
• planned 861 posts so far
  • this isn’t counting the Emotional Tarot posts that I still need to complete
• had difficulties focusing on my own birthday reading

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Saturday ~ September 28, 2019

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 8pm night before, up at 3am – 7 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 1 vitamin B complex supplement @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 8pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 8pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 1 pizza slice

Today’s Feelings

• agitated

Notes

• worked on my birthday reading
• got lost on the way to the new moon ceremony and ended up getting there too late and missed it

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