Somewhat a rough week, but I managed to hit the 50k NaNoWriMo goal on the last day!

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Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1

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Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~

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Sunday ~ November 24, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 1A ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: I don’t even know, I slept off and on most of the day

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 12am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee

Today’s Feelings

• down

Notes

• today’s word count: 765
• today’s novel word count total: 33245
• I don’t know why I thought I could do NaNo this year
  • I am so far behind it’s depressing
  • I’m not sure how I’m going to catch up within the 7 days remaining

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Monday ~ November 25, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0.5 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 1A ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 6am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 6am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• fried chicken

Today’s Feelings

• I don’t know

Notes

• today’s word count: 2404
• today’s novel word count total: 35649
• Scholar Owl’s med clinic appointment

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Tuesday ~ November 26, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: forgot to document

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• don’t remember and my med box isn’t set up

Meals

• ? cups of coffee

Today’s Feelings

• I don’t know

Notes

• today’s word count: 0
• today’s novel word count total: 35649

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Wednesday ~ November 27, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: forgot to document

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• don’t remember and my med box isn’t set up

Meals

• ? cups of coffee

Today’s Feelings

• fucked if I know

Notes

• today’s word count: 4825
• today’s novel word count total: 40474

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Thursday ~ November 28, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: forgot to document

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• AM meds forgotten
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 6pm
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• turkey dinner

Today’s Feelings

• Quiet

Notes

• watched first 3 Harry Potter movies with Little Bear and my dad
• today’s word count: 416
• today’s novel word count total: 40890
• spent most of the day trying not to think about the conversations I’ve been having with Tuxedo Cat’s father over Facebook messenger
  • I went so far as to ask for a middle ground because I can’t do this anymore
    • either we make this work or I go no contact
    • I’m dying inside and I can’t bear it
  • disappointed and hurt that this is the first year in a long time that he hasn’t come to visit us for Thanksgiving
    • I was really looking forward to seeing him
      • I’m really starting to feel that my family is just meant to be passed over, abandoned, and forgotten
        • and that it’s my fault
          • my children suffer because of me
          • I suffer because of me
            • everything sucks the way it does because of me
              • I ruin everything

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Friday ~ November 29, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 7am – 4 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• turkey leftovers

Today’s Feelings

• broken

Notes

• I don’t fucking know anything anymore
  • why can’t I be normal?
• Tuxedo Cat’s father claims he wasn’t here for Thanksgiving last year either and honestly, I don’t have the energy to sift through the journals and trackers to look
  • I believe him on this one because I remember the weather being kind of shitty last year too – worse than this year if I remember right
  • it’s just this year, my parents – Dad mostly – were rather unpleasant since it was just us
    • heaven forbid you cook to accommodate for Autism
      • Autism food sensory issues and limitations will never accommodate for you – ever
• today’s word count: 5344
• today’s novel word count total: 46234
• watched more Harry Potter movies with my dad

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Saturday ~ November 30, 2019

Mood: -1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 11:30pm, up at 6am – 5.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• turkey leftovers

Today’s Feelings

• mixed

Notes

• today’s word count: 4205
• today’s novel word count total: 50439
• ex-father-in-law came to take the boys belated b-day shopping
  • he wanted them to pick me out a b-day gift too, but they didn’t
    • said they couldn’t think of anything, so picked me out a soda and chips
      • later, Little Bear drank the soda, which pissed me off to tears
        • so tired of being treated like shit or being treated like I’m invisible by everyone
• watched Harry Potter movies with my dad

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