It’s been a busy week. Some ups and downs, overall pretty good. Just wish my tire hadn’t gone flat at the end of the week, but I’m at least grateful it happened in the driveway rather than blowing out somewhere on the road.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h
Joint Pain Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: 12/21/19
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ December 15, 2019
Mood: -0.5 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 2 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 8am – 5 hours total
seriously had trouble falling asleep
napped 1:30pm-4:30pm – 3 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 600mg Ibuprofen @ 1pm
- 1000mg Tylenol @ 4:30pm
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7:30pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- like shit, all day – mostly due to the migraine
Notes
This morning’s meditation:
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- nothing got done today
Monday ~ December 16, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
- meat and cheese omelet with wheat toast and homefries (well, most of it)
Today’s Feelings
- good
Notes
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- went Christmas shopping with Tuxedo Cat’s father tonight
- it felt really good – like old times, really
- it was really good to see his old self again
- and he even complimented my appearance
- we even went to dinner together afterwards
- talked about possibly going to the movies to see the new Star Wars movie together this Saturday
- or if not, later next week
- it felt really good – like old times, really
Tuesday ~ December 17, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm, up at 6am – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 10mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- helped Tuxedo Cat’s father through messenger find the perfect Xmas gift for his father
- it was so good to see him so happy, like his old self
- it made me happy
Wednesday ~ December 18, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 1A ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm, up at 6am – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- need to pick up meds
- 600mg Ibuprofen @ 11pm
- 1000mg Tylenol @ 11pm
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- overall, good
Notes
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- Little Bear’s OT
- we’re switching him back to the 2pm time slot since that’s when he seems to do better with it
- took him gift shopping for his brothers after
- did struggle with the sensation of being on the verge of a panic attack most of the day, but I worked through it thanks to talking with my cousin, Light Flower, about it
Thursday ~ December 19, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- need to pick up meds
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- content
Notes
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- no school for Tuxedo Cat since the high school is moving to the new building today
- Therapy today
- took Tuxedo Cat Christmas shopping this morning
- took Scholar Owl Christmas shopping after therapy
- this meant taking Little Bear along too
- rear driver’s side tire seems to be having trouble holding air
- it was low and so I filled it before going to therapy and it was low again before I got to the hospital
- the drive is almost an hour one way
- it was low and so I filled it before going to therapy and it was low again before I got to the hospital
Friday ~ December 20, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm, up at 1am – 4 hours total
bed at 2am, up at 6am – 4 hours total
napped 2pm to 6pm – 4 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- need to pick up meds
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- disheartened
Notes
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- IEP meeting for Little Bear
- once again yet another person brought up the possibility of placement for my son if things continue as they are for him
- doctors are talking about residential homes
- the Special Ed Director at least offered alternatives like specialized schools with day programs that include a therapeutic component
- once again yet another person brought up the possibility of placement for my son if things continue as they are for him
- that tire was completely flat this morning
- Mom was kind enough to let me borrow her car for the IEP meeting
- Tuxedo Cat’s father was understanding and supportive about all the stuff going on with Little Bear right now
- He also sounded like he is still very interested in going to see the Star Wars movie with me tomorrow night
- He’s also still thinking over things regarding the middle ground I suggested, making this the third Friday
- I’m trying to view this as a lesson in patience and working really hard to not let my anxiety get the best of me
- but it’s hard
- I’m trying to view this as a lesson in patience and working really hard to not let my anxiety get the best of me
- finally finished my New Year’s resolution post and scheduled it for early tomorrow
Saturday ~ December 21, 2019
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: unable to sleep, did try between 8am-10am
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- need to pick up meds
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
- spaghetti with red sauce and meatballs
Today’s Feelings
- productive starting at midnight at beginning of day
- cheerful and peaceful near midnight at end of day
Notes
- today’s word count: 0
- today’s novel total word count: 50439
- scheduled Chaos Pen Challenge 2020-17 to 2020-24 (8 posts)
- went to see the new Star Wars movie with Tuxedo Cat’s father
- I liked the movie, it was a very satisfying end to the series for me
- him and I also had a conversation that started out challenging, but by the end I feel we both have a better understanding of each other and some much needed healing happened
- I think we both feel better about things – past and present
- and I got the kiss I’ve been longing for
- probably a dumb thing to feel so much joy over, but it’s who I am
- I don’t need the fancy things, I just need real and honest
- probably a dumb thing to feel so much joy over, but it’s who I am
