This week ended up feeling pretty productive actually.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h
Joint Pain Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ April 19, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 10am – 7 hours total
slept like shit
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- AM meds missed
- 600mg Ibuprofen @ 10am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
- ? cups of tea
Today’s Feelings
- calm
Notes
- finished the Lunar Intentions reading for this Wednesday
- Tuxedo Cat and Golden Knight played Pure Chess together on the Xbox One tonight and it was nice to see our son so content
- Tuxedo Cat played several games actually, which was surprising
- bought and played World War Z on the Xbox One with Golden Knight
- it’s a third person zombie shooter and plays a lot like Left 4 Dead
- you can level up classes and weapons in it
- Little Bear really liked the game too
Monday ~ April 20, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 10am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- AM meds missed
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
- ? cups of tea
- 2 cans of Moxie
- 4 hot dogs
Today’s Feelings
- calm
Notes
- starting working on the Chaos Rally reading for this Friday
- installed the Norton Parental Controls on Little Bear’s PC
- caught him visiting websites he shouldn’t be at his age
- added benefit it also allows me to block the flash game that triggers all the screaming and set a curfew time
- and now the browsers has him in a high safe search mode and YouTube has him in restricted mode
- this isn’t just the Norton program, by the way – this was me doing some serious housekeeping on that PC that in retrospect I should have done ages ago
- the problem is, the other two boys are mindful and pay attention to the things I have said about web safety
- sure Scholar Owl was embarrassed a little at the time when I said those sites aren’t safe, but there are safer sites for that type of content but then years later while homeschooling him he was comfortable enough to talk to me about the difference between the Romance, Erotica, and Porn writing genres
- that’s the kind of openness and trust I want with my boys
- I don’t want to feel like I have to be like a jailer and I don’t want them to feel like they’re in a prison
- BUT if you continue to disregard the rules…
- sure Scholar Owl was embarrassed a little at the time when I said those sites aren’t safe, but there are safer sites for that type of content but then years later while homeschooling him he was comfortable enough to talk to me about the difference between the Romance, Erotica, and Porn writing genres
- and the other problem is Windows 7 lost its Parental Controls
- as in, it no longer exists for that operating system
- so I have to manually check, making it easier for Little Bear to hide things – too bad for him this was my old PC and I have back doors when I take the time to sit down on it
- I mean come on, this is the PC I scripted my FFXI bots on so I know it better than the one I’m using now
- when he becomes a fluent reader, I might become fucked in this regard
- another reason to add the extra layer for now
- when he becomes a fluent reader, I might become fucked in this regard
- I mean come on, this is the PC I scripted my FFXI bots on so I know it better than the one I’m using now
- Windows 10 Parental Controls on the other two boys are set to report behavior until they turn 18
- so it no longer reports anything on Scholar Owl
- it still reports Tuxedo Cat, but otherwise doesn’t control anything – I would change that if a problem came up
- the problem is, the other two boys are mindful and pay attention to the things I have said about web safety
- this isn’t just the Norton program, by the way – this was me doing some serious housekeeping on that PC that in retrospect I should have done ages ago
- played World War Z with Golden Knight again
- all three boys seem really interested in it now
Tuesday ~ April 21, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 8am – 8 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 8am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 8am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- calm
Notes
- finished Chaos Rally reading for Friday
- finished scheduling Pentacles Suit for Exploring Settings series
- Therapy Tuesday
- rainy weather seemed to make the connection unstable for Zoom today
Wednesday ~ April 22, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0.5 ~ Anxiety: 0.5 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 6am
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- ? cups of tea
- spaghetti with meat sauce
Today’s Feelings
- mildly stressed
Notes
- Little Bear was high energy today, making online school and OT hectic
- worked on scheduling the Swords Suit for the Exploring Setting series
- played World War Z with Golden Knight this evening until 10pm
Thursday ~ April 23, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm, up at 5am – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 8am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 8am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
- ? cups of tea
- cheese, ham, sausage, and crackers
Today’s Feelings
- calm
Notes
- finished scheduling Swords Suit for the Exploring Setting series
- started scheduling Major Arcana for the Exploring Setting series
- had some face time with Golden Knight today around 4pm
- was really nice, and I greatly appreciate the fact that he took the time to do that for me
- watched more Witcher episodes with Golden Knight later this evening
- watched a couple of Lucifer episodes by myself afterwards since Little Bear hadn’t gone to sleep yet
Friday ~ April 24, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 7am – 5 hours total
woke up off and on starting at 5am, but didn’t want to get out of bed today
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- can’t remember if I took them at all – failed to document
Meals
- ? cups of tea
- 2 cups of coffee
- crackers and sliced pepperoni
Today’s Feelings
- calm
Notes
- finished scheduling the Exploring Setting with Tarot series – finally
- watched a couple episodes of Witcher with Golden Knight
- watched Lucifer after Golden Knight logged out
Saturday ~ April 25, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 12pm – 8 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- AM meds missed
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
- sliced pepperoni
Today’s Feelings
- calm
Notes
- I caught Golden Knight just as he was getting out of work and heading over to pick his daughter up for the weekend
- it shouldn’t bother me that this means next to no contact during this time
- contact between us before the stay home order during Princess Weekend was limited, but now I feel like I’m non-existent
- maybe because contact between us during the week now has become what Princess Weekend used to be like
- meditating on this, the only thing I’ve come up with is that I need to be using this time to focus and invest my attention and energy on myself and my goals instead
- basically, the message I’m getting here is to find and stay in my lane and allow everything else to take care of itself
- if it falls away, then permit it to do so
- anything that belongs in my life will be found in and along my lane
- I just need to trust in this and in myself
- basically, the message I’m getting here is to find and stay in my lane and allow everything else to take care of itself
- meditating on this, the only thing I’ve come up with is that I need to be using this time to focus and invest my attention and energy on myself and my goals instead
- maybe because contact between us during the week now has become what Princess Weekend used to be like
- contact between us before the stay home order during Princess Weekend was limited, but now I feel like I’m non-existent
- it shouldn’t bother me that this means next to no contact during this time
- played some Diablo III with my cousin, Light Flower
- we enjoyed some voice chat and she helped me brainstorm over the blog a bit
- started scanning my physical copy of Legacy of the Divine Tarot deck into my computer
- bought it last summer during one of my visits to Augusta with my cousin
- just never gotten around to it until now – been long over due
- got it all scanned in by 3am