Tode’s Weekly Assessment 2020-36

Just felt like a really long week this time around.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~


Sunday ~ August 30, 2020

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 9:30am – 7.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 10:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 10:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 10:30am
  • PM meds missed

Meals

  • ? cups of black tea
  • leftover homemade fried rice

Today’s Feelings

  • good but stressed

Notes

  • worked more on the datapack
  • spent the evening with Golden Knight with Tuxedo Cat and Little Bear watching Cobra Kai on Netflix
    • Little Bear had another one of those nights

Monday ~ August 31, 2020

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 1 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 8am – 4 hours total
napped at 9am to 12:30am – 3.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: -1

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • ? cups of black tea
  • 2 cheeseburgers and macaroni salad

Today’s Feelings

  • I don’t know

Notes

  • I have written on my calendar that I’m supposed to have a med clinic appointment today over Zoom, but I never received an email with the link, tried calling twice for it and failed to reached anyone so I left a message the second time and now I have the agonizing fun of waiting for someone to get back to me
    • knowing my luck, the appointment wasn’t scheduled for today and I didn’t get the memo, but I distinctly recall the nurse telling me she wanted me back in a month and me bitching how I thought the frequency was excessive and unnecessary
    • they got back to be over the phone; it was a scheduling error on their end and the problem has been sorted out and my appointment has been rescheduled for later in September
      • I’m relieved that it was something minor and easily fixed
  • finished Cobra Kai, watched Karate Kid and Karate Kid II on Netflix with Golden Knight

Tuesday ~ September 01, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: forgot to document bedtime, up at 8am

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 10pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 10pm

Meals

  • ? cups of black tea

Today’s Feelings

  • fuck it

Notes

  • Little bear had a great day today, he even cleaned up his own space around his desk after school without any fuss or guidance
  • I thought Golden Knight and I were going to have intimate time together tonight, but instead I ended up falling asleep while watching him play Red Dead Redemption 2
    • I wasn’t angry about it and instead of feeling disappointed, I felt distant
    • I don’t know how to address the sense of feeling behind a wall
      • how much of this is because of me disassociating rather than just sitting with whatever it is I’m really feeling?
        • but seriously, why ask me if I wanted intimate time with him if that’s all he was going to do once he got here?
          • tired of fighting
          • tired of being let down
          • tired of feeling brushed off
            • as it is, I haven’t even given myself a chance to properly mourn the death of my aunt who was buried the other day
              • what the fuck is wrong with me?

Wednesday ~ September 02, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • ? cups of black tea
  • don’t remember what I ate

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • stressful day – Little Bear struggled to stay awake in class today and then when he did finally wake up he was grumpy and rude
  • Golden Knight did come over for intimate time with me after watching the first Ip Man movie
    • he had a hard time with Little Bear’s mood and felt I am too easy on him while I felt he was too harsh in his response even though he was correct

Thursday ~ September 03, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 6am – ? total hours

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 7am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • ? cups of black tea
  • chips and dip

Today’s Feelings

  • calm

Notes

  • bought the Remastered Edition of Crystal Chronicles for the PS4 today and played it all day – was comforting to revisit this game
  • spent the evening with Golden Knight watching Ip Man II and III

Friday ~ September 04, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at 8am – ? hours total
passed out while playing the game

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm

Meals

  • black tea
  • forgot to document what I ate

Today’s Feelings

  • burnt out

Notes

  • played Crystal Chronicles Remastered all day while making sure Little Bear stayed on task with online schoolwork

Saturday ~ September 05, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 5am, up at 2pm – 9 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • AM meds missed
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30pm
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30pm

Meals

  • ? cups of black tea
  • ? cups of coffee
  • no added MSG chicken ramen noodles

Today’s Feelings

  • not as burnt out

Notes

  • played Crystal Chronicles Remastered all day

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