This week mostly sucked only because I’ve been exhausted beyond belief. Just haven’t been sleeping well. Hoping that will get better once my teeth are taken care of finally.

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Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1

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Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~

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Sunday ~ November 08, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 6am, up at 10am – 4 hours sleep

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 11:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 11:30am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 11:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• pretzels
• macaroni with meat sauce

Today’s Feelings

• stressed

Notes

• NaNoWriMo Word Count: 87
• Dad found a dead rat in the pantry a couple of days ago, this morning Mom felt the need to blame it on us in front of my brother and sister and then tried to tell me that she didn’t mean to offend me
  • Dad told me to let it go as I was walking away, and thus already letting it go I thought since I reminded her that this time of year all kinds of shit move into old houses simply looking for a warm place to stay
  • I told Mom I am offended – I have no intention of accepting a non-apology
    • I’m tired of her making a daily effort one way or another to let me know how much she doesn’t want us here
      • we can’t even use the stairs during the day without commentary
        • I don’t even like the way she treats my brother’s kids
        • Dad bitches about her constant need for control
        • I know it’s not just me locking horns with her
          • I’m just the only one that’s stop pretending that it’s fine
• didn’t get much writing done, but I did finally get Little Bear’s PC straightened out
  • managed to find and backup all his games files except the Starbound ones
    • I feel bad that I wasn’t able to salvage those for him
  • hopefully this should mean full speed ahead for both of us from here on out in terms of the things we need and want to get done
• did get some work done on the Chaos Rally #46 post too today

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Monday ~ November 09, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 3:30am, up at 9:30am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 9:30am
• 75mg Topamax @ 9:30am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 9:30am
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 5pm
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• pretzels

Today’s Feelings

• agitated

Notes

• NaNoWriMo Word Count: 420
• I ended up calling the dentist today
  • I can’t even close my mouth without it causing pain
    • pain from 0-10 with meds: 6 mouth open, 8 when I close it
  • I got an appointment for this Thursday morning
  • they said the consultation appointment is free and they’ll go from there
  • and for whatever reason, when I told my parents this (since I have to leave the house at 7am to be there for it) they didn’t seem happy about it
    • Dad even went so far as to start fear mongering about it
      • yes, I did tell them I want all my teeth out, but I don’t have to go through it, I can just opt to have the one infected tooth pulled right now and do the rest later
  • by 10pm, the brain fog and anxiety was too bad to think clearly

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Tuesday ~ November 10, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm, up at 1am – 3 hours total
yes, the pain from my teeth was that bad
bed at 7am, up at 11:30am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: -1

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 1am
• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 800mg Ibuprofen @ 6pm
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
• 1000mg @ 11pm

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• mac & cheese with hotdogs

Today’s Feelings

Notes

• missed therapy
• Little Bear’s med clinic appointment
  • starting an ADHD med
• NaNoWriMo Word Count: 100

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Wednesday ~ November 11, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0 ~ Tooth Pain: 6

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 7am – 7 hours total

Sleep Quality: -1

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 8am
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 2pm
• 75mg Topamax @ 8pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 8pm
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 8pm

Meals

• 2 cups of black tea
• 2 cups of coffee
• mini ravioli
• chicken chow mien over ramen with pork egg rolls

Today’s Feelings

• stressed and tired

Notes

• NaNoWriMo Word Count
• Little Bear has had two outbursts today, both within his norms, but because he started his new med it has me on high alert
  • like both were triggered by something that would upset any normal kid to be completely honest and oddly only his Lego robot breaking escalated when he had a hard time getting it back together – even then once he had it back together it was quickly over
    • I suppose the quick blow over is what’s odd today
    • the rest of the time he’s been mellow

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Thursday ~ November 12, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 9:30pm, up at 5:30am – 8 hours total

Sleep Quality: -1

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• AM meds forgotten
• 75mg Topamax @ 8pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 8pm
• 600mg Ibuprofen @ 8pm

Meals

• pretzels
• leftover ramen and chow mien

Today’s Feelings

• stressed and tired

Notes

• NaNoWriMo Word Count: 0
• saw the dentist, who referred me to someone else that takes my medical coverage

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Friday ~ November 13, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: -1 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed sometime after 3:30am, up at 7:30am
had evil heartburn all night long and woke up with it too
napped 3pm to 7pm – 4 hours total

Sleep Quality: -1

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 8am
• 75mg Topamax @ 8am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 8am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7:30pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7:30pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• 1 cup of ginger tea
• ramen with chow mien and chicken egg rolls

Today’s Feelings

• I don’t know

Notes

• NaNoWriMo Word Count: 335
• completed Chaos Rally #46 (finally)
  • sorry it went live late in the day
• Little Bear seems to be tolerating the new med well so far
• feeling the stress and pressure already over Xmas shopping
  • worried about the money for it and I really don’t want to be stuck doing it at the last minute

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Saturday ~ November 14, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 7am, up at 12pm – 5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 4 cups black tea
• 12oz bottle of iced coffee
• 2 pkgs. instant oatmeal with 2 slices buttered white toast
• pulled pork on a bun x2 and potato puffs
• chips

Today’s Feelings

Notes

• NaNoWriMo Word Count: 4793
• spent the evening with Golden Knight
  • he cooked dinner and we watched several episodes of Lucifer

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