It’s been a busy and productive week this week. Honestly, I wish things felt less hectic and that I didn’t have to choose between which balls to juggle and which to let drop. I suppose then my life wouldn’t be the “art of chaos” if I had the luxury to juggle everything everyday.
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h
Joint Pain Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: 12/15/2020
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ December 13, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: didn’t sleep last night
slept between 2pm and 8pm – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 8:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 8:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 8:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 8:00pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 8:00pm
- 600mg Ibuprofen @ 8:00pm
Meals
- ? cups of black tea
- 1 cup of coffee
- chicken bacon ranch Velveeta helper (made with ground turkey)
Today’s Feelings
- motivated
Notes
- spent the entire night and into the morning putting together and scheduling the revamped Welter Quill series for next year on the blog
- worked on it until about noon
- finally got around to digging out the spare monitor to hook up to Little Bear’s PC
- explained to him this was the only spare I’ve got so if he breaks it, he’s out of a PC
- I’m finding I can’t effectively run a blog the way I want if I’m sharing a PC with him so I needed him back at his own desk space again
- had an ongoing conversation with Golden Knight about how things were going with our relationship today
- not sure how to describe it, or how to feel about it
- pretty much the same thing as always, minus the fighting
- and as always, I was told things will get better
- yes, things have been getting better but the one thing that I have been struggling so hard for, just getting my needs met, hasn’t
- I’m losing hope in this regard and feel the need to release expectations
- the only thing I’m responsible for in life, really, is the effort I put in and right now… I’m operating in the red
- I can’t change him, but I can change me
- I don’t know how to rebalance without a toxic backlash yet, but I’m going to figure out a healthy way to do it
- I’m tired of feeling stuck and overwhelmed
- I’m tired of feeling bitter and resentful
- I’m tired of feeling unimportant and underappreciated
- all signs of overextending and over giving
- all up to me to change
- all signs of overextending and over giving
- I don’t know how to rebalance without a toxic backlash yet, but I’m going to figure out a healthy way to do it
- I can’t change him, but I can change me
- yes, things have been getting better but the one thing that I have been struggling so hard for, just getting my needs met, hasn’t
Monday ~ December 14, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: no sleep last night
bed at 11am, up at 6pm – 7 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 600mg Ibuprofen @ 4:00am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00pm
Meals
- 4 cups of coffee
- roast beef sub with chips and fruit
Today’s Feelings
- determined
Notes
- still working on setting up and scheduling the Welter Quill series posts
- not sure why, but it seems like I get a few posts done only to realize that I forgot something major and then need to go back and revise everything I’ve done so far
- it’s a grueling process and I wish I would just get it right the first time
- not sure why, but it seems like I get a few posts done only to realize that I forgot something major and then need to go back and revise everything I’ve done so far
- Golden Knight and I had a lovely evening together
- hope we have more like these more often
Tuesday ~ December 15, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 4:30am, up at 10:30am – 6 hours total
napped 6:30pm to 8:30pm – 2 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- meds missed
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
- leftover roast beef sub
Today’s Feelings
- productive
Notes
- finally got all of the new Welter Quill series posts put together and scheduled for next year
Wednesday ~ December 16, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 10am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- meds forgotten
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- semi-productive
Notes
- got the blurb for my first short story written, edited the first short story, came up with a title for it, and got it scheduled on Patreon for the first Friday of Jan
- both Scholar Owl and Golden Knight were a lot of help with this
- edited second short story
Thursday ~ December 17, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm, up at 5am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 7:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00pm
Meals
- 3 cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- motivated
Notes
- wrote blurb, came up with title, and scheduled the second short story on Patreon
- got January’s Chaos Cast weekly posts put together and scheduled
- got January’s daily Chaos Beats put together and scheduled
- started working on January’s Daily Draw posts
Friday ~ December 18, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 11pm, up at 5am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- meds forgotten
Meals
- ? cups of coffee
- homemade meatball sub
Today’s Feelings
- bleh
Notes
- spent the entire day running errands and ended up exhausted as fuck
- did finally get to show Little Bear the WorldPainter program and it was fun to see him light up as he worked with it
- was hoping to make Xmas tree ornaments with the boys today, but that didn’t happen
Saturday ~ December 19, 2020
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: bed at 9pm, up at 3am – 6 hours total
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 7:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00am
Meals
- 2 cups of coffee
Today’s Feelings
- worked on WorldPainter with Little Bear in the early hours
Notes
- definitely thinking that designing project based unit studies for Little Bear to work on is the way to go for him in order to keep him engaged and learning
- we made Xmas tree ornaments with homemade playdough
- the baking step didn’t go as expected
- my mom looked on the internet to see if someone else had a better recipe than the one we’ve had in the family for years, the one she found is identical minus the oil, but baking temps and times are different
- the online recipe also recommended you leave the playdough white and paint it after baking
- needless to say, experimentation is required to get it the way we want it to come out
- the online recipe also recommended you leave the playdough white and paint it after baking
- my mom looked on the internet to see if someone else had a better recipe than the one we’ve had in the family for years, the one she found is identical minus the oil, but baking temps and times are different
- the baking step didn’t go as expected