Emotionally, it’s been a long week and I’m just glad it’s finally over.

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Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1

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Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~

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Sunday ~ December 27, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm, up at 6am – 8 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• need to pick up refills

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• pork loin, mashed potatoes, peas

Today’s Feelings

• content

Notes

• decided to buy the Visual Novel Maker from the company that sells RPG Maker since it was on sale (like big time sale) in order to check out how it works
  • turns out there are several ways to use it and I’m planning to tinker around with it and see if I can make and finish a project of some kind using it
• having said that, since Golden Knight also bought me RPG Maker MV for the PS4, I’d like to see if I can make a little game of some kind for the boys to play around in
  • it would need to be easy to read for Little Bear, but complex enough to keep Scholar Owl and Tuxedo Cat engaged – a rather tall order I think
    • as many times as I’ve tinkered around with these types of programs, I’ve yet to complete a project and just once I’d like to do so
• put together. written, and scheduled the quarterly Chaos Rally reading for January 2021 which makes all of January’s planned posts good to go now
• finished putting together and scheduling posts for the Major Arcana in the Exploring Numbers with Tarot series
• Golden Knight cooked dinner with me tonight and it was highly enjoyable
  • normally I don’t like teaching people how to cook but lately it has been fun to do this with him
• after dinner Tuxedo Cat requested to watch the Alien movie with us, but I don’t own a copy of that and Golden Knight hadn’t brought his over so we watched my copy of the extended version of Alien vs. Predator instead

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Monday ~ December 28, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6am – 5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• still need to pick up meds

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• ham steak, mashed potatoes, southern corn, and succotash

Today’s Feelings

• motivated

Notes

• not sure why, but I feel the need to get things sorted out for the blog before I start any new projects and I would like to take advantage of the boys being on holiday vacation right now to do that
• finished putting together and scheduling posts for the Wands, Cups, and Swords in the Exploring Numbers with Tarot series
• cooking with Golden Knight lately has been a comfort and joy
  • somehow doing it together makes preparing dinner feel less like a chore

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Tuesday ~ December 29, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 3am, up at 9am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 9am
• 75mg Topamax @ 9am
• 20mg Propranolol @ 9am
• still need to pick up refill on Propranolol, which somehow got messed up
• PM meds missed

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• half of a roast beef sub, chips

Today’s Feelings

• powerless, insignificant, disappointed. distrustful

Notes

• Therapy Tuesday
• finished putting together and scheduling posts for the Pentacles in the Exploring Numbers with Tarot series and this ends in the summer of 2022
• simplified templates for the Chaos Cast series (I hope)
  • started making keyword reusable blocks so I’m not remaking those every time each post
    • completed the ones for the Celtic Dragon Tarot
• and just when things where going so well, Golden Knight and I got into a fight
  • which is really disappointing and hurtful since I had just got done bragging to my therapist about how well things have been going and the progress I thought we were making earlier today

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Wednesday ~ December 30, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 10am, 8 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• AM med missed
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
• 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

• 1 cup of black tea
• ? cups of coffee
• other half of roast beef sub, pretzels

Today’s Feelings

• pensive

Notes

• I’m coming to accept the fact that I don’t know how to self soothe and that this is a skill set I need to learn
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Dragon Tarot for use on my blog
• I think Golden Knight has come to understand what I have been saying about Tone Policing all this time
  • he says he’ll make changes but I can’t help but worry when the next fight will happen like this all over again

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Thursday ~ December 31, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10:30pm, up at 4am – 5.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• pretzels
• chicken salad on bun x2

Today’s Feelings

• pensive
• frustrated

Notes

• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Legacy of the Divine Tarot for use on my blog
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Mystic Dreamer Tarot for use on my blog
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Mystic Faerie Tarot for use on my blog
• okay, so WordPress decided to bug out on me as I started to create blocks for the Mythic Tarot deck and it stopped letting me create them and when I tried to create them in the reusable block manager, I could clone them but then it wouldn’t save any changes and it tells me I can’t delete those clones either… so WTF?
  • okay fixed it, turns out it was because I activated the Gutenberg plugin thinking it would help with block patterns but it just messed everything up for me
    • really wish it hadn’t taken me so long to figure that out
    • all I can say is, I hope this does what I intend it to do and not turn out to be a complete waste of my time since it’s been a complete hassle for me to set these up – I truly hope these reusable blocks I’m making end up saving me time in the long run later on down the road
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Mythic Tarot for use on my blog
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Necronomicon Tarot for use on my blog
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Panda Tarot for use on my blog
• updated the scheduled Chaos Cast posts I have so far, and yes, these reusable blocks are worth it
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Shadowscapes Tarot for use on my blog
• by the time I hit the Steampunk Tarot, I was exhausted and I don’t think I can stay up to enjoy New Year’s Eve – fuck it
  • I even think I’ll make a hard pass on writing a reflection of the year this time around – honestly I think this year has taught me that I need to seriously consider how, why, who, and when I am investing my time and energy into

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Friday ~ January 01, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10:30am, up at 6am – 8.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• 1 multivitamin @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 7am
• 75mg Topamax @ 8pm

Meals

• 3 cups of coffee
• chicken salad on bun x2

Today’s Feelings

• I don’t know…

Notes

• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Steampunk Tarot for use on my blog
• completed the set of reusable blocks of keyword cards for the Universal Tarot for use on my blog
• that finishes up the keyword cards – there are other cards I need to make but they can wait for now
• finished putting together and scheduling all of the Chaos Set posts for this year
• Chronicle Post
• did some upkeep on the blog in the way of my categories – prolly ought to do more of it, but damn that shit makes my eyes bleed so to speak

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Saturday ~ January 02, 2020

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1:30am, up at 10:30am – 9 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

• AM meds missed
• 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

• ? cups of coffee
• chicken salad on wheat x2

Today’s Feelings

• frustrated mostly

Notes

• I feel like I’ve wasted the morning away by sleeping in
• created reusable blocks for my tarot based music playlists so I’m not constantly hunting for the links on my YouTube channel
  • still debating on what they should look like
    • I think I’ve got it them to look like now
• Chronicle Post

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