Tode’s Weekly Assessment 2021-21

It’s been a mostly quiet week this week. Uneventful for the most part, really.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: ~

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~


Sunday ~ May 23, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes


Monday ~ May 24, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes


Tuesday ~ May 25, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • AM meds missed
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm

Meals

  • coffee
  • blackberry gingerale
  • cob salad

Today’s Feelings

  • generalized shitty – not sure how else to explain it

Notes

  • started binging Tokoyo Ghoul last night
  • missed my first real appointment with my new therapist today

Wednesday ~ May 26, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 12pm – 8 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • meds missed

Meals

  • coffee
  • leftover porkchop
  • chef salad

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • finished Tokyo Ghoul last night
  • today I feel like it’s completely pointless to bring anything up to Golden Knight
    • partly because part of me questions if I’m just stirring up trouble for trouble’s sake
    • partly because it’s just the same thing over again ad nauseum
      • betting on someday doesn’t seem to be in my favor
    • mostly I’m just running out of steam for this
      • what the fuck is wrong with me? honestly
  • to be fair, he did come over later this evening and talk to me about it all
    • no arguing or anything like that this time

Thursday ~ May 27, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 7:30am – 7.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • 1 multivitamin @ 8am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8am

Meals

  • coffee

Today’s Feelings

Notes


Friday ~ May 28, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • had therapy today, she showed me the charts for my intake surveys since I’ve been there and I noticed the clinical notes stating how I’m still in remission and doing well enough now that I’m reaching the point where there will be no clinical benefit in continuing therapy – she didn’t discuss this with me and I didn’t bring it up
    • not sure exactly how I feel about this given how long I’ve been in therapy
      • on one hand I’m glad to know I’m doing well
      • on the other hand, I find myself asking if I’m doing well because I go to therapy
        • I suppose this is a moot point considering that if I were to tank for whatever reason, I could just go back to therapy until I was well again
    • honestly, I had considered the idea of dropping therapy when I heard my former therapist was moving
      • I’m still not sure how I feel about this new one and how chatty she is
        • hard to describe the issue here with this, but it feels more like we’re just talking like regular people rather than me being in a therapeutic session
          • like literally, so far the stuff I have talked with her is the same kind of stuff I could talk about with anyone, including the back and forth flow of it
            • she just talks more
  • had a really nice date with Golden Knight tonight
    • I wish I could feel connected like this more often
      • we just went out to eat and then to his place to watch new episodes of Lucifer

Saturday ~ May 29, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • and of course this afternoon Dad had to give me an earful of his paranoid thoughts regarding Covid and its vaccine
    • yeah, like the flu there is still a small chance you can get it
      • this does not mean we need to be in lockdown for the rest of our lives
        • getting really tired of this mentality
          • and of course he brings up Little Bear as a reason for his concern
            • “this is why I don’t go to restaurants right now other than take-out,” he says
              • Dad… that’s no different from what you did before Covid and back then you said it was to save money and eat healthier
                • you’re fully vaccinated and haven’t been living your life now any differently than before, but that doesn’t mean you need to justify it or push your lifestyle onto anyone else – just do and be you while letting everyone else do their thing
                  • I haven’t suddenly become more reckless just because we have started the vaccine series
                    • the frequency in which I go out to do anything hasn’t changed
                      • in fact, before Covid you would bitch at me about how unhealthy my social behavior was
                  • I am still following CDC guidelines so… what exactly is the problem?
                    • I don’t get it, probably never will
                    • I’m just tired of the paranoia and fear mongering
  • and yes, we have plans tonight to take the boys to the movie theater to watch the Demon Slayer movie

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