Tode’s Weekly Assessment 2021-27

I’ve been spending most of this week working on designing and setting up a campaign world for the Pathfinder tabletop RPG since Little Bear asked if I would play D&D with him. I’m absolutely thrilled. The first time I ever played D&D I was 12 years old. Little Bear is 11 years old. As a gamer, this is exciting. As a homeschooling parent, I see it as an excellent way to have fun while practicing all sorts of skills in math, reading, problem-solving, social interaction, and whatever else we can work into it. So of course I wanted a custom thing to run with. And of course I’m finding myself a bit overwhelmed by it given how I haven’t played in years.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h

Joint Pain Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: 07/10/2021

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~


Sunday ~ July 04, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • need to pick up refills

Meals

  • bbq ribs and mac salad

Today’s Feelings

  • strained

Notes

  • found out via phone message that for some reason, Little Bear’s medical coverage that his father sponsors was terminated back in October
    • not the first time this weird ass shit has happened – my guess it’s an error in routine paperwork since it happens roughly the same time of the year ever time it’s happened
    • what I do have an issue with is that this time around I didn’t receive a notification letter about it
  • today was the family BBQ my dad and brother planned
    • more people showed up than I was expecting
    • they kept it outside despite the cold rain
      • which I think was annoying for everyone, but especially for Mom who was cooking
    • it ended with Mom taking out her frustrations on everyone
      • I’m not going to get into the drama of this, instead I will only make the observation that this seems to keep happening because she continuously either volunteers or agrees to something that she resents
        • setting and holding boundaries around her time and energy would resolve the majority of the problem
          • honestly, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t have the energy/time for that right now,” regardless of how anyone responds
            • I guess what I’m getting at here is that until my therapist had put years of work into getting me to understand the basic principals of boundaries, I wasn’t any different and now that I do understand it, I see boundary/communication failure on a regular basis
              • this isn’t a skill we’re born knowing, just like walking or riding a bike
              • if you don’t have the skill, you can’t use it
                • what I find mind blowing in all of this is that our society doesn’t really teach this skill as a general whole
                  • like seriously, as a whole the concept is fairly absent
                  • instead we see tone/language policing for example when it should be, “I feel [insert emotion] when [insert event/trigger/behavior] happens, so I need to [insert response].”
                    • Example: “I feel unsafe when yelling happens, so I need to leave the room.”
                      • The key here is to actually leave the room at this point, because boundaries are not about changing other people’s behavior. Boundaries are deciding ahead of time how you are going to respond to, cope with, or manage something.
                        • this could be deciding in advance how you’re going to manage your time and sticking to it
                        • this could be deciding ahead of time that you aren’t going to participate in conversations that involve slurs, swearing, or off color jokes (or whatever)
        • I guess the biggest questions I have for myself is: why do I keep getting so worked up about seeing it and why do I allow myself to get caught up in it?
          • what purpose or function do either serve?
            • am I able to just let people live their lives and walk away from it?
              • I can’t control any of the stuff going on inside other people
              • in the grand scheme of things it’s not my business either
              • I’ve got my own dysfunction to claim and manage that I need to be focused on

Monday ~ July 05, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • still need to pick up meds

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • picked up meds
  • date with Golden Knight

Tuesday ~ July 06, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

Meals

  • Chinese take-out with the family
  • lots of soda and coffee

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • spent the entire evening with family
    • played Smash Brothers
    • watch Scissor Seven

Wednesday ~ July 07, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 2h ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 5am, up at 10:30am – 5.5 total hours

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • AM meds missed
  • 600mg Ibuprofen @ 10:30am
  • 1000mg Tylenol @ 4:00pm
  • 600mg Ibuprofen @ 6:00pm
  • 600mg Ibuprofen @ 11:00pm

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • woke up with a headache
  • Scholar Owl’s old pc was finally fixed and was swapped with Little Bear’s pc since his mother board was failing
    • took most of the day yesterday to do, but it’s finally up and running with Little Bear’s hard drive this morning

Thursday ~ July 08, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 2A ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 2am, up at 8:30am – 6.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • 600mg Ibuprofen @ 8:30am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8:30am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 8:30am

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes

  • woke up with the same headache still there, only now I got the vision thing going on in my right eye
    • first multi-day one I’ve had in a long time
    • after all this time of not taking my meds, the migraines from hell start kicking in
      • took way longer than it had in the past
    • could also be my diet lately since my parents have been feeding everyone

Friday ~ July 09, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 7:00am, up at 12:30pm – 5.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7:00am
  • 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00am

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes


Saturday ~ July 10, 2021

Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0

Hours of Sleep:

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity & Time

Meds Taken

Meals

Today’s Feelings

Notes


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