Overview
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h
Joint Pain Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ July 25, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 1h ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes
Monday ~ July 26, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 2A ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes
- I ate something with MSG thinking it was safe: cheese soup
- but it started last night so maybe something at the restaurant had it too
- most likely the soup
- they’re happening more often over the last few months
- I need to change whatever it is I’m doing that’s triggering them
- just one more example as to why keeping an accurate tracker is so damned important
- seriously need to get back on that
- just one more example as to why keeping an accurate tracker is so damned important
- I need to change whatever it is I’m doing that’s triggering them
- they’re happening more often over the last few months
- most likely the soup
- but it started last night so maybe something at the restaurant had it too
Tuesday ~ July 27, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 3 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
Meals
Today’s Feelings
- beyond stressed
Notes
- I feel like my life has become extremely disorganized and I am completely overwhelmed by this
- I need to get Little Bear’s homeschool portfolio put together and sent in for evaluation ASAP but I haven’t been able to find key paperwork from the public school he went to for half the year that needs to go in there and I haven’t been able to find the samples of work I thought I saved
- I lament that I didn’t do this as we went (again)
- my living space has been thrown into total disarray when my old desk fell apart and got replaced and then again when we shuffled a bunch of stuff around to get boxes into the new storage shed Dad built for me
- too much stuff has gone inexplicably missing than shouldn’t be missing
- and while all this is going on I also still need to get the bi-yearly paperwork done for DHHS as well as write next month’s short story
- it feels like it’s been awhile since the last time I’ve been this last minute with things and I fucking hate it
- I need to get Little Bear’s homeschool portfolio put together and sent in for evaluation ASAP but I haven’t been able to find key paperwork from the public school he went to for half the year that needs to go in there and I haven’t been able to find the samples of work I thought I saved
- and the worst part about all of this? my internal systems just want to shutdown – like absolute fuck it mode
- the struggle to override this dysfunctional coping mechanism is unreal
- so today’s plan is that as soon as Little Bear is awake, I’m going to empty out each section of the room one step at a time and sort it in the hopes of finding the shit I’m looking for AND getting my life back into an organized state
- I’ve already told Scholar Owl that I will need his help with moving shit so we can get rid of anything we don’t need – I’m tired of keeping crazy ass clutter out of fear of offending someone
- my parents are out of state right now, so now is the perfect time to ditch all these clothes nobody fucking wears by donating them to the nearest place that will give them to someone that actually needs them
- I appreciate people trying to be helpful, but I really need people to stop buying us shit without talking to us first about it
- it’s not helpful to bury someone with shit they can’t use even if it is brand new
- just a waste of space, time, and money
- it’s not helpful to bury someone with shit they can’t use even if it is brand new
- I appreciate people trying to be helpful, but I really need people to stop buying us shit without talking to us first about it
- my parents are out of state right now, so now is the perfect time to ditch all these clothes nobody fucking wears by donating them to the nearest place that will give them to someone that actually needs them
- I’ve already told Scholar Owl that I will need his help with moving shit so we can get rid of anything we don’t need – I’m tired of keeping crazy ass clutter out of fear of offending someone
- the only thing I can do while Little Bear is sleeping is work on next month’s short story
- I despise looming deadlines and I’m kicking myself in the pants for letting it get this close to the wire
- and my computer has been acting a bit laggy lately
- no idea what was running in the background, but it seems that a simple restart fixed it
- Scholar Owl and Golden Knight were kind enough to help me move the piles of clothes in my room downstairs
- the washing and sorting has begun
Wednesday ~ July 28, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes
Thursday ~ July 29, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 6:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 6:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00pm
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes
Friday ~ July 30, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 7:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7:00am
- 1 multivitamin @ 7:00am
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes
- washing and sorting of clothes is almost done
- been at it pretty much non-stop
- packed 6 kitchen-sized trash bags of clothes for donation so far
- no idea how much has been thrown away
- decided we will only be keeping one dresser full per person and the boys are one board with this
- they’re picking out which clothes they’re keeping in theirs
- they understand if something is worn out, torn, holey, or falling apart that I’m tossing it
- I’m exhausted, stressed, and have had the worst indigestion I have ever had in a long time ever since starting this
Saturday ~ July 31, 2021
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 75mg Topamax @ 9:00am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 9:00am
- 1 multivitamin @ 9:00am
- 75mg Topamax @ 11:00pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 11:00pm
Meals
- celery, some fried egg that Little Bear cooked and forced fed me
Today’s Feelings
- exhausted and harried I believe the word is
Notes
- portfolio finished and sent
- clothing still needs to be sorted and tended to