Overview
Mood Score Key:
Sliding Hypomania = 1 ~ Hypomania = 2 ~ Mania = 3 ~ Baseline (My Normal) = 0
Sliding Depression = -1 ~ Depression = -2 ~ Severe Depression = -3 ~ M = Mixed State
Energy Score Key:
Low = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ High = 1
Irritation Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Anxiety Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3
Migraine Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A ~ Normal Headache Pain or Pressure = h
Joint Pain Score Key:
None = 0 ~ Mild = 1 ~ Moderate = 2 ~ Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Tingling = T
Sleep Quality Score Key:
Bad = -1 ~ Normal = 0 ~ Great = 1
Special Notes for the Week
Menses Start Date: ~
Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~
Sunday ~ January 09, 2022
Mood: -2 ~ Energy: -5 ~ Irritation: 3 ~ Anxiety: 5 ~ Migraine: 1 ~ Joint Pain: 2
Hours of Sleep: bed at ?, up at around 2pm I think? – fucked if I know
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- meds forgotten – I think
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes
- managed to get the daily draw posts written and scheduled for this week
- wasted the rest of the day – lots of staring at a blank screen while listening to music (wtf?)
- I at least requested help with brainstorming over on Scribophile so that I could (hopefully) get this outline done and get started with the actual writing of this month’s short story which is now very late by my standards
- I don’t like how this is starting to feel like a habit of mine
- I at least requested help with brainstorming over on Scribophile so that I could (hopefully) get this outline done and get started with the actual writing of this month’s short story which is now very late by my standards
- caught and killed the fucking vole that had been prancing about, bold as brass, on the floor next to my damn desk like he owned the fucking place
- this fucker walked right over the regular mouse trap without triggering it like it was no big deal – fucking watched him do it
- and I have no idea WHY this was causing me so much fucking stress other than the time I was pregnant with Scholar Owl we had a fucking RAT in our apartment and it jumped out of my damn candy bowl, onto my belly, landed on the stove, and scuttered off – the fucking thing was around 5 inches long not counting the tail
- took us forever to catch that thing and I had to bait the trap with a candy bar to do it
- don’t know where the vole was finding it, but the bugger was hauling popcorn like nobody’s business
- so I surrounded his hole with normal traps and off to the side put one of those live catch traps type of deals
- sure enough, less than two hours after I did that, we had him in the live trap
- and we dumped him the toilet to flush him down
- I shit you not this fucker damn near made it out of the toilet like he’s done this before
- I feel bad that I used the plunger to drown him just so I could flush his ass down
- there was a time I had rodents for pets, so don’t make fun of me on this
- this is why I don’t like using poison or glue traps – I’m not even fond of the live traps either because it means you have to either kill them yourself or transport them far the fuck away from your home to release them, or they will just return inside
- I prefer the traps that kill them quick and be done with it
- and I agree with Little Bear, they are very adorable
- BUT they fucking wreck your insulation!
- there’s a fucking mess around the hole he made, the pink shit is sticking out all around it, so you know it can’t be any better inside the wall there now
- BUT they fucking wreck your insulation!
- there was a time I had rodents for pets, so don’t make fun of me on this
Monday ~ January 10, 2022
Mood: -2 ~ Energy: -2 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 3 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 2
Hours of Sleep: fucked if I know anymore – I feel like I sleep forever without actually resting
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 8am
- 75mg Topamax @ 8am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 8am
- can’t remember if I took the PM meds or not
Meals
Today’s Feelings
- determined to get shit done even though I feel pretty useless
Notes
- wrote and scheduled today’s chaos pen challenge (LATE)
- 1 post
- wrote and scheduled this week’s chaos beats series posts (including yesterday’s post that I had failed to write in time)
- 7 posts
- wrote and scheduled both chaos cast posts for this week
- 2 posts
- wrote and scheduled this week’s chaos wave post
- 1 post
Tuesday ~ January 11, 2022
Mood: -1 ~ Energy: -2 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 2
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
- I know I also took 600mg of Ibuprofen this morning but I’ll be damned if I can remember what time
- 75mg Topamax @ 7pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7pm
Meals
- coffee
- leftover pea soup
Today’s Feelings
- listless
Notes
- FINALLY got the outline done for this month’s short story
- now I can get started on writing the damn thing
Wednesday ~ January 12, 2022
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 8pm
- 20mg Propranolol @ 8pm
Meals
- coffee
- ramen
Today’s Feelings
Notes
- kitchen pipes were frozen this morning
- hot water in kitchen was still frozen at bed time, but the cold water was working at least
- enjoyed the opportunity of playing Back 4 Blood with Scholar Owl today
Thursday ~ January 13, 2022
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- med box says I forgot my meds entirely
Meals
Today’s Feelings
- x_x
Notes
- wasted the day doing… nothing -_-
Friday ~ January 14, 2022
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep: fucked if I know when I went to bed, up at 6am though
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
- 1 multivitamin @ 7am
- 75mg Topamax @ 7am
- 20mg Propranolol @ 7am
Meals
Today’s Feelings
- numb and trying not to do the whole doom scrolling thing on Facebook
- like why has this even become a thing in my life now?
- it’s not like a certain anyone is going to message me anymore
- I no longer exist, so why am I doing it?
- even though I’ve unfriended him, Facebook shows me how often he’s online and I see him online more often now than he ever was back when we were together and it rubs me raw
- to know that back then, consciously or subconsciously, he was avoiding me
- and now he feels he has the freedom to be on whenever he wants as though I had robbed him of something back then
- to know that back then, consciously or subconsciously, he was avoiding me
- even though I’ve unfriended him, Facebook shows me how often he’s online and I see him online more often now than he ever was back when we were together and it rubs me raw
- I no longer exist, so why am I doing it?
- it’s not like a certain anyone is going to message me anymore
- and why is it that one day I can be just fine and we can even talk like normal people, but the moment I express any kind of emotion it immediately degenerates into a shit show
- many times the emotion isn’t even about him at all
- it’s like this guy has ZERO strength to look at the face of a storm of any kind and just needs to run from it at any cost – the true definition of a fair weather friend, and it’s beyond disappointing
- I refuse to be an unfeeling robot, even for a friend
- have the courage to step into the eye of the storm to find the real me or just walk the fuck way
- like why has this even become a thing in my life now?
Notes
Saturday ~ January 15, 2022
Mood: 0 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0 ~ Joint Pain: 0
Hours of Sleep:
Sleep Quality: 0
Exercise Activity & Time
Meds Taken
Meals
Today’s Feelings
Notes