Here’s today’s journal writing prompt along with my corresponding journal entry. Read more for details!
Three of Coins (Pentacles)
Am I getting it done?
Funny that this card pops up right after the Queen of Swords yesterday. There’s a lot that I haven’t been getting done lately. Self care, my writing, basic tasks. The list goes on.
This card is about focus, planning, and organizing. In order to get the job done it means knowing what needs to be done and how to get it done. It also means knowing how to ask for help as needed and working with others. One can’t do and be everything all the time.
Humans are genetically designed to be interdependent and culturally speaking one of the worst things we have ever done to ourselves is pushed this hyper independent narrative upon ourselves. It’s a damaging and toxic lie. We can’t all be doctors, teachers, lawyers, mechanics, bakers, carpenters, waiters, etc. at the same time. Can we? We simply cannot wear all of the hats all at once. Why do we convince ourselves that we can? Why do we convince ourselves that we are failures when we are unable to?
Sometimes getting it done means outsourcing it to someone else. Just asking for help. Working with someone else. This is particularly important as a parent. We cannot be everything to our children. We shouldn’t be. When we try to do this we inadvertently end up teaching them the false message that we are supposed to be everything and do everything for everyone all the time.
I don’t know about anyone else, but this is not the message I want to teach my children. What I do want to teach my children is how to assess what needs to be done and the best way to get it done. If I need to ask for help, then who do I ask? What is the best way to ask? Is it a team effort? How is that done? Is this something I’m capable of doing myself?
It all boils down to executive functioning skills. You can find out more about that here. Basically though, when these inherent skills are dysfunctional or impaired, it makes completing tasks more challenging. This is actually the root of ADHD. We see hyperactivity in ADHD because self control, or self regulation rather, is an executive function of the brain. Focus becomes novelty/interest or urgency/crisis based rather than importance/priority based because again priority is an executive function of the brain. This doesn’t mean that ADHD isn’t capable of priorities ever. But what it does mean is that novelty and urgency will often over ride priority. It requires a great deal of exhausting vigilance on the part of the individual to keep in in check. And I hear so much from the ADHD community about how often they feel like they fail in this department. I feel like I fail often in this department.
I feel like I am constantly resetting and reorganizing my priorities just for the sake of clearing the overwhelm just so I can get shit done. Just so I can feel human. And to make matters even worse, I feel like I’m heavily reliant on others in particular right now. People who I feel either send this subliminal message that I am less than for needing help or some kind of resentment/resistance for needing their help. As a result I find myself wishing I had some other solution at this time.
I don’t have a working car. I’m completely at the mercy of others right now. I wouldn’t ask for help if I didn’t need to. It’s never my intention to be a burden or pain in the ass. If you can’t do it or don’t want to, then just say no to give me the free pass to ask someone else instead of leaving me to hang there on the word “soon”. I honestly can’t plan around the word soon. And the thing that bothers me the most with that is if I make other plans anyway in response to the word “soon” is the person ends up offended or hurt like I am the one that did something wrong. Like god forbid that I didn’t wait a week beyond the deadline I was dealing with because it wasn’t convenient for you.
So just stop with the vague answers. Being vague isn’t honest in any way. It’s okay to be clear with me. In fact I need you to be clear and direct. Yes, it may hurt my feelings but at least I can work with it and plan around it. It actually causes less frustration and hurt feelings in the long run. The direct honesty conveys greater reliability in my eyes even when you’re not able to do the thing for me each time. You’re more trustworthy. And even more importantly, I feel like I can get more done in the moment when I can just move on with my plans and ask the next person for help right away. You can be polite when you say you can’t help out this time around and I won’t see it as cutting me down. Just understand that when you’re being vague and putting me on hold like that you’re not actually being nice or helpful at all, you’re just being an obstacle.
So I’m going to bring today’s question back to you. How does it apply to your life right now? How do you feel about it? What’s happening around that to make you feel this way? What would you like to do about it?Write the answers in your journal in detail.
If for some reason this prompt is leaving you stumped, that’s okay, you can either write about something else or just allow the image of the card inspire you instead. The entire point of this is to get you started, not to confine you in any way. Happy writing!
~ Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti (Illustrator and Author) © 2009
~ Credit for 3D model and assets used in this rendered image can be found here.
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