Yes I identify as a toad or a frog, but not in the trans-species sense or a derogatory way. I have no desire to transform my human physical features into any amphibious ones. Nor do I view myself as some pitiful creature. For as long as I can remember, the frog and toad have been my animal spirit guides. So when I say I am the toad, it is because I have come to accept the things they represent as my guiding principles.

Frogs and toads represent many things depending on the culture, but one only needs to look at nature to learn a few things from them. Their life cycle requires many transformations. They are adaptive enough to live both in the water and on land. These creatures are so delicate, that they are some of the first to show mutations when something is wrong with their habitat thus they require balance. Speaking of balance, just taking the Cane Toad from one environment to another was enough to truly disrupt an entire ecosystem. Their song is harmonious and can travel long distances on a quiet night. In a high school biology class I did dissect a frog and learned that their internal organ systems are similar to our own. Feel free to check out this virtual dissection lab. Warning though, it does use videos of real frogs! I believe there is still more yet to learn from them.

So yes, I am the toad – especially now that I know that I have Bipolar Disorder parenting children with their own special needs. I will do my best to adapt to all things, transform when necessary, and communicate with clear intent to maintain the much needed balance and harmony in our lives.

I did attend the University of Maine majoring in Human Nutrition and Food Service Management with a minor in Business Administration. The campus turned out to be a life saver with their resources the first time my child was diagnosed. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t a student from their department, the Psychology and Child Development professors rallied around me and offered the current research available and pointed me in the right direction. Even the Conley Speech Center provided me with assistance. The Food Science Department wasn’t shy with their research and knowledge either. I wish every parent was given this knowledge and opportunity. But then we moved and things changed dramatically for us. Life has a way of doing that.

I’m just a parent trying to do what every other parent does: the best they can with what they’ve got.

Thus my life, simply put and the reason for my blog’s title, is the art of balancing the chaos around me into something manageable. It’s a work in progress. You are welcome to join me in my journey.

Allow me to introduce you to the Goblin Horde (my family), your new traveling companions! Appropriate nicknames will be added as they come to me because I certainly don’t want to use their real names here. I want to protect and honor their privacy as I share my journey.


Myself (Toadie Odie)

  • Bipolar Disorder Type I
  • Chronic PTSD
  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • Unspecified Personality Disorder with Schizoid Traits
  • Migraine Disorder


My Oldest Son (Scholar Owl)

  • Bipolar Disorder Unspecified


My Second Son (Tuxedo Cat)

  • Autism


My Youngest Son (Little Bear)

  • Unspecified Reading Delay Disorder
  • Conduct Disorder
  • Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder
    • Under Observation for Bipolar Disorder and ADHD Hyperactive Type


Credits for the MMD models used here can be found here and here.