Fucked If I Know

I don’t know what’s going on with me right now. Is it just me struggling with the break up? Struggling with the transition of my parents moving out of the house and me taking over it all on my own? The fact that my ex-husband is supposed to be showing up for his visit any moment now? Seasonal Bipolar episode? The on-going bullshit that is Covid? All of it? None of it?

Continue reading

My Baby is Finally Home from In-Patient

It’s been a month now since Little Bear was admitted to in-patient for possible psychosis and during that entire time I’ve only mentioned it in my mood trackers. I didn’t know how to talk about it. He’s been home since Thursday night and I’m still not sure how to talk about, but I’m going to try. Continue reading

Chaos Soup with a side of Word Salad

I’m reaching a point where I can feel myself physically getting tired, but unable to slow myself down enough to get more sleep. I laid down for a nap today and didn’t get a wink. My brain won’t stop and it’s nothing truly coherent per se. It’s more along the lines of internal dialogue similar to the din of a restaurant.

Continue reading

A Break in the Clouds

It’s been a quiet day today for the most part. Little Bear had a few hiccups here and there but other than that, he did well. He just needs to learn to slow down a bit and pay more attention to what’s being said rather than jumping to conclusions and blowing up. Not sure if he’ll ever grow out of assuming the worst.

Continue reading