TGIF Chaos Rally #8

I’m sliding. I can feel it. I’m certain of it. I see the decline of interest in even with my mood tracker. An over all sense of “Fuck It” in everything I do. There is a stinging threat of tears beneath my skin at every turn. The ever present ache and discomfort in each joint making me feel older than my body is. I’m tired so damn tired… but sleep is no friend of mine. My thoughts feel tangled and sticky, caught in the wind – tethered by a single thread. One gust my thoughts would be lost and with it my heart ripped out. A teacup lost in the ocean storm with no sight of the shore. I’m lost.

Today the songs at the top of the list are my beacon of light, reminding me I’m not alone and this too shall pass. Not sure just yet what needs to be done to rebalance my brain, but I’ll get there. No storm lasts forever. Continue reading

TGIF Chaos Rally #7

Been a rough week. At home, emotionally, mentally… and as a writer. This week ends on a note that makes me wonder how far down I’m sliding. I have to remind myself to keep going, keep moving, even if I just want to lay down and not wake up. I’m that tired right now. The weight of my life feels crushing. So I found this song “One Step At A Time” by Jordin Sparks because right now, that’s what I need to focus on. Continue reading

TGIF Chaos Rally #6

I’m in an emotional low right now. I’m being reminded that this is a normal response to what I’m facing. It’s normal to grieve when it’s confirmed that your child has a sick brain just like you. It’s normal to grieve when you hear that there is a possibility that your child’s severity might be greater than your own. It’s normal to be afraid. Continue reading

Toad’s Chaos Rally Music Party

The year 2016 was rough for many of us. I won’t lie it was rough for me too. I’ve lost count on how many times I had to rally myself up to keep going. So it got me thinking that instead of doing a “remember when” this year I would launch a music rally on my blog. It’s going to be a playlist we can share, add to, grow, and use to get to know more bloggers. The idea here is we are banding together to rally, support, and encourage one another to keep going no matter how tough it gets. Continue reading