Disconnected

Five days later since I posted about Hurricane Matthew and I still haven’t heard from my husband. According to the FEMA website the Army Corps of Engineers is involved with the recovery process. Don’t know if my husband is part of that or not. Last I knew he repaired helicopters. I know he studied engineering in college, so maybe? No idea how that works. Never was a part of the Army or its culture. So I hope he is busy helping people and not just being a dick or out there somewhere seriously hurt.

Looks like a lot of damage has been done. It’s saddening to see so much loss. I hope that the families that live down there can recover quickly. I know it sounds odd but it makes me feel more isolated and distant – sheltered even – where I live. I mean, I’m grateful that I am safe but at the same time I feel out of touch with the world. Will I always feel this disconnected?

Hurricane Matthew

Facebook Page for Hurricane Matthew

My husband is stationed down in that mess. Of course he hasn’t called or messaged us to let us know he’s okay. As usual he would rather test me to see if I care. See if I will hunt him down and ask. Because anxiety. Because panic. Because worry. But I know the Army has their shit together and he’s with them. Just once I would like for him to not play bullshit games. I’m not making that phone call. And I’ll do my damnedest to keep my worries to myself and not let it spill over to the boys. Not even sure they know where this hurricane is hitting.

anxiety-quote-by-arthur-somers-roche