I didn’t want you to see.
Not my tears.
Not my pain.
Not today.
I didn’t want you to know.
I still love you.
But you are still dating people.
Just as friends you say.
Not your fault you say.
Your friends bring them you say.
“What do you want from me?” you ask.
The one thing I can never have.
To be your one and only.
To be the light in your eyes.
The air you breathe.
The reason you wake up.
The thing you dream of at night.
It was always too much to ask.
“So you want me to stop having a life?” you ask.
Look at me. This chair. This desk.
This room. Every. Day.
This is all I have for a life.
It’s expected of me, but not of you.
I won’t take your life away.
You apologize without remorse.
Your face says it all.
My selfish soul cannot accept this.
It shreds the hole deeper.
The divide widens between us.
And you just stand there, watching.
You need to leave now.
Come back tomorrow.
Celebrate with the boys.
My hope will fail again.
It always does.
You never told me why you married me.